The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck CH 4

Chapter 4 The Value of Suffering

一、问答

1. Use three sentences to describe Onoda’s story.

Onoda, a Japanese Lieutenant, didn’t believe his country had surrendered. He transferred to the Jungles in Philippine and continued to fight. Thirty years later, found by an adventurer Suzuki, Onoda returned to Japan and felt his fighting meant nothing, so he moved to Brazil, where he remained until he died.

2. What can we learn from the Rock Star problems?

He adopted a crappy values based on the comparison to the success of others. This value gave him awful problems. Even though he had achieved great fame and glory, he still felt like a loser.

3. Can you name some values that you hold dear?

Honesty, responsibility and persistence.

4. Do you have any good/bad values stated in the book? How those values affect your life?

I have honesty, responsibility and self-respect. These values helped me to achieve my goals and get a better life.

二、感想

本章主要阐述价值观的重要性。

To both men, their suffering meant something; it fulfilled some greater cause. And because it meant something, they were able to endure it, or perhaps even enjoy it.

本章作者首先讲了两个故事。日本军士Onoda,因不知道日本已宣布投降或拒绝承认这个事实,躲在菲律宾丛林中继续为天皇作战,一呆就是三十年;探险家Suzuki,用四年时间穿越亚洲、中东和非洲,最后消失在喜马拉雅雪山中。这两个例子都告诉我们,一个人为了自己的梦想和信仰,无论多苦多难,都会坚持下去,并且无怨无悔。因为他们认为自己做的事是正确的,值得为此付出。

Let’s say the first layer of the self-awareness onion is a simple understanding of one’s emotions.

作者把自我认知的过程比作剥洋葱,第一层是对自己情感的简单认知,比如说这个事让我感到开心,那个事让我难过。

The second layer of the self-awareness onion is an ability to ask why we feel certain emotions.

第二层是我们要知道为什么会产生这样的情感,也就是说我们难过或开心的原因是什么。

The third level is our personal values: Why do I consider this to be success/failure? How am I choosing to measure myself? By what standard am I judging myself and everyone around me?

第三层是我们的价值观:我们怎样来评判成功/失败?我们怎样来评价自己?我们评判自己和他人的标准是什么?这个是最难做到也是最重要的,因为我们的价值观决定我们对问题的看法,我们对问题的看法决定我们的生活质量。

The question is not whether we evaluate ourselves against others; rather, the question is by what standard do we measure ourselves?

作者又给我们讲述了Mustaine的故事,告诫我们不要盲目地和别人攀比。Mustaine 是个吉他手,被原来乐队踢了出来。为一雪前耻,他励精图治,组建自己乐队,拼命工作。几年后,乐队已小有规模,成为当地最好的重金属乐队。但他总是和原来乐队相比,认为自己不如他们,所以他一直不开心,郁郁寡欢,总觉得自己是个失败者。

If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.

所以作者指出,有时候我们觉得生活中存在这样那样的问题,究其根源,是我们的价值观有问题,是我们衡量成功与否的标准有问题。

This is why these values—pleasure, material success, always being right, staying positive—are poor ideals for a person’s life. Some of the greatest moments of one’s life are not pleasant, not successful, not known, and not positive.

作者提到,有些人把以下标准当成自己的价值观:高兴、财富、总看事情好的方面而忽视不好的。 然而,这些标准都是空洞的、毫无意义的。因为,我们生命中的重大时刻有时并不是我们成功的时候,高兴的时候,或是出人头地的时候。

Good values are 1) reality-based, 2) socially constructive, and 3) immediate and controllable. Bad values are 1) superstitious, 2) socially destructive, and 3) not immediate or controllable.

大体上讲,好的价值观应该是在现实基础上,有助于社会发展,直接可控的。

不好的价值观是迷信的,对社会发展有害的,非直接可控的。在接下来的章节,作者将陆续讲到几种反直觉的,但却很有指导意义的价值观,姑且拭目以待。

As Freud once said, “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

最后,用我非常喜欢的一句话来结束本章。

“总有一天,当你回首往事,曾经付出的努力和奋斗都将变成美好的回忆。”——佛洛依德

三、字词

1.Their economy was floundering, their military overstretched across half of Asia, and the territories they had won throughout the Pacific were now toppling like dominoes to U.S. forces.

If something is floundering, it has many problems and may soon fail completely. 陷入困境

If someone or something topples somewhere or if you topple them, they become unsteady or unstable and fall over. 倒下

flounder 在此表示二战后日本经济陷入困境;topple 在此表示日本侵占的大片土地像多米诺骨牌一样倒下。

2. Why do you feel lethargic and uninspired?

If you are lethargic, you do not have much energy or enthusiasm. 没精打采的

If you describe something or someone as uninspired, you are criticizing them because they do not seem to have any original or exciting qualities.  无灵感的;缺乏创见的;平凡的

这两个词用来描述一个人无精打采,没有灵感的精神状态

3. Then everything based upon those values—the thoughts, the emotions, the day-to-day feelings—will all be out of whack.

If something is out of whack, it is not working properly, often because its natural balance has been upset. 出问题

这句话是说如果我们的价值观是不正确的,那么基于这个价值观的所有想法、情感和感受都是有问题的。

4. “Because it feels like he doesn’t give a shit about me.”

前几天刚看到not give a shit 的用法,今天就派上用场,是指一点都不在乎,如: She doesn't give a shit if he comes or not. 

5. They close themselves off to new and important information.

Close off自我封闭,拒绝接受新信息

6. The point is to nail down some good values and metrics, and pleasure and success will naturally emerge as a result.

If you nail down something unknown or uncertain, you find out exactly what it is. 弄清

如:It would be useful if you could nail down the source of this tension.

©著作权归作者所有,转载或内容合作请联系作者
  • 序言:七十年代末,一起剥皮案震惊了整个滨河市,随后出现的几起案子,更是在滨河造成了极大的恐慌,老刑警刘岩,带你破解...
    沈念sama阅读 212,294评论 6 493
  • 序言:滨河连续发生了三起死亡事件,死亡现场离奇诡异,居然都是意外死亡,警方通过查阅死者的电脑和手机,发现死者居然都...
    沈念sama阅读 90,493评论 3 385
  • 文/潘晓璐 我一进店门,熙熙楼的掌柜王于贵愁眉苦脸地迎上来,“玉大人,你说我怎么就摊上这事。” “怎么了?”我有些...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 157,790评论 0 348
  • 文/不坏的土叔 我叫张陵,是天一观的道长。 经常有香客问我,道长,这世上最难降的妖魔是什么? 我笑而不...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 56,595评论 1 284
  • 正文 为了忘掉前任,我火速办了婚礼,结果婚礼上,老公的妹妹穿的比我还像新娘。我一直安慰自己,他们只是感情好,可当我...
    茶点故事阅读 65,718评论 6 386
  • 文/花漫 我一把揭开白布。 她就那样静静地躺着,像睡着了一般。 火红的嫁衣衬着肌肤如雪。 梳的纹丝不乱的头发上,一...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 49,906评论 1 290
  • 那天,我揣着相机与录音,去河边找鬼。 笑死,一个胖子当着我的面吹牛,可吹牛的内容都是我干的。 我是一名探鬼主播,决...
    沈念sama阅读 39,053评论 3 410
  • 文/苍兰香墨 我猛地睁开眼,长吁一口气:“原来是场噩梦啊……” “哼!你这毒妇竟也来了?” 一声冷哼从身侧响起,我...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 37,797评论 0 268
  • 序言:老挝万荣一对情侣失踪,失踪者是张志新(化名)和其女友刘颖,没想到半个月后,有当地人在树林里发现了一具尸体,经...
    沈念sama阅读 44,250评论 1 303
  • 正文 独居荒郊野岭守林人离奇死亡,尸身上长有42处带血的脓包…… 初始之章·张勋 以下内容为张勋视角 年9月15日...
    茶点故事阅读 36,570评论 2 327
  • 正文 我和宋清朗相恋三年,在试婚纱的时候发现自己被绿了。 大学时的朋友给我发了我未婚夫和他白月光在一起吃饭的照片。...
    茶点故事阅读 38,711评论 1 341
  • 序言:一个原本活蹦乱跳的男人离奇死亡,死状恐怖,灵堂内的尸体忽然破棺而出,到底是诈尸还是另有隐情,我是刑警宁泽,带...
    沈念sama阅读 34,388评论 4 332
  • 正文 年R本政府宣布,位于F岛的核电站,受9级特大地震影响,放射性物质发生泄漏。R本人自食恶果不足惜,却给世界环境...
    茶点故事阅读 40,018评论 3 316
  • 文/蒙蒙 一、第九天 我趴在偏房一处隐蔽的房顶上张望。 院中可真热闹,春花似锦、人声如沸。这庄子的主人今日做“春日...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 30,796评论 0 21
  • 文/苍兰香墨 我抬头看了看天上的太阳。三九已至,却和暖如春,着一层夹袄步出监牢的瞬间,已是汗流浃背。 一阵脚步声响...
    开封第一讲书人阅读 32,023评论 1 266
  • 我被黑心中介骗来泰国打工, 没想到刚下飞机就差点儿被人妖公主榨干…… 1. 我叫王不留,地道东北人。 一个月前我还...
    沈念sama阅读 46,461评论 2 360
  • 正文 我出身青楼,却偏偏与公主长得像,于是被迫代替她去往敌国和亲。 传闻我的和亲对象是个残疾皇子,可洞房花烛夜当晚...
    茶点故事阅读 43,595评论 2 350

推荐阅读更多精彩内容