转自贝拉的树洞

人生，就是一个不断失去的过程。我们都要长大，都要学会接受。要接受那些爱你的人慢慢离你远去，也要接受那些随之而来刻骨铭心、无法逃避的痛。那些猝不及防的失去，就像闪电，我们还未做好接受的准备，痛，就已经刻在了心里。

When you lose someone suddenly, and unexpectedly, it hurts differently. I had a tooth that got infected once. Woke me from the dead of sleep, middle of the night. It was this dull, throbbing, excruciating pain, it was awful. But then, the pain changed. It became sharper. Like sudden, direct bursts of pain that came out of nowhere. Boom, boom, like a lightening strike. That’s what unexpected loss is like. It’s like a lightning bolt, you can’t even see it reaching inside of you and tearing out your guts.

总有一天，父母会离我们而去。那时，关于父母的过往，关于我们成长的足迹，可与之分享的，就只有手足。我们的身体里， 流着一样的血液；我们也拥有着，最亲密的关系。所以，让我们继续互相关爱，温柔相待。

My brother and I, we had to look out for each other. No one was gonna do it for us. But you two, you’re lucky. Nothing’s forced you to have each other’s backs. So, you’re either gonna decide to fix the stuff that’s broken between you or you’re not. That’s up to you. And I hope you do, because your mom and I, we’re not gonna be around forever. And when we’re gone, the two of you and your sister, are the only people on this planet who are gonna be able to look back and remember all the stuff that’s happened to you. I know that may not seem like a big deal now, but trust me when I say it is.

家人之间，难免会有摩擦和争吵，因为每个人都不一样，每个人也都有权利表达自己的态度和想法。但更为重要的是，这些都将成为我们专属的共同回忆。世界上，也不会再有其他人，像我们一样，去在乎那些一起吵闹的曾经。

Here’s the thing, Mel. I don’t want to buy one of those used cars out there. That Wagoneer, that’s my family car. I can see it so clearly. It’s sturdy, tough. Pearson, we need tough. Because I can tell you right now, there’s gonna be scrapes, and dings. Stains, so many stains. But that’s OK. Because every battle scar is gonna be another memory. But eventually, that car out there, that car is gonna tell my family’s story just by looking at it.

父母的爱，最伟大之处，就是放手。在你上学的时候，他们看着你背书包的背影，越来越远；在你结婚的时候，他们看着你牵着另一个即将与你相守一辈子的人的手，说着爱的誓言，幸福到流泪。纵然舍不得，但为了你，也要懂得放手。

One day, a long time from now, you’re gonna meet someone who’s better than me. He’s gonna be stronger and handsomer and even better at board games than me. And when you find him, when you find that guy, that’s the guy you’re gonna marry. He’s one lucky guy, the guy that gets to marry you, Kate girl. And your mom and me, we’re gonna be there, you know. Just to check him out. Make sure he’s as good at board games as you think that he is. And assuming that he is, I’ll get to walk you down the aisle, and I may even cry a little.

亲爱的姑娘，当你穿上洁白的婚纱，和那个共度余生的人比肩而立时，你的每一个眼神，你的每一个笑，都像是甜蜜融化在了春风里。父母心里，你永远都是宝贝。

My brother and I have been going a little bit crazy the past couple of days. We were crazy ‘cause we wanted make sure that this day was perfect for you, Kate. And the reason we wanted to make sure this day was absolutely perfect for you is because that’s what Dad would’ve done. He would’ve made it perfect for you. And if he were here, he definitely would’ve looked at you and he would’ve said, “Katie girl, in your life, you have never looked more beautiful than you do right now.” And he would’ve been right by the way.

心里的某些坎儿，总会在某些时候跳出来，让人沉溺过往，哀伤到无法自拔。可是，生活总要继续。最好的选择：闭上眼，深呼吸，放自己一马，让过去过去，让未来到来。

Earlier las year, Kate said something to me that was profound. She said,” Kevin, if you don’t allow yourself to grieve Dad’s death, it’ll be like taking a giant breath in and just holding it there for the rest of your life.” At the time, I didn’t want to hear any of that. But here we are. It’s one DUI and a rehab stint later, and I’m thinking maybe you were on to something when you said that to me.

I think we’ve all been holding our breath for a long time. So before we toast Toby and Kate, before we click our glasses, I think that the four of us should release that breath together. I think it’s important that we do that, that we just let go of these things we’ve been holding onto.

我愿与君立黄昏，灶前笑问粥可温。阳光中，树影下，我们坐着，不说话，只要是你，就十分美好。下一秒，无论阴晴，还是雨雪，只要是你，我都有勇气面对。你，就是我最正确的选择。

Those of you who knew me, know that I’m big on control. It’s taken me 37 years to accept the fact that there’s absolutely zero point in trying to control the future, ‘cause nobody knows where we’ll be. Not even a year from now. But what we can control are the people we choose. Choosing our people is the closest we come to controlling our destiny. Because while everything else may change, if you choose right, you people will stay the same. Whether that’s tonight or a year from now, or ten years from now. Katie girl, Tobias, when I look at you, I know in my bones that in choosing each other, you have chosen perfectly.

至此，追了好久的剧也算暂时告一段落了。当然，生活还在继续，三大只中，Kevin的爱情归属，Randall一家和Deja后续的相处，以及Toby的身体健康状况等，虽然剧中有涉及到部分，但依旧未知。但我们应该明白，生活就是这样，起起又落落。突然想到了普希金的诗，写得真好，共勉：

假如生活欺骗了你，

不要悲伤，不要心急，

忧郁的日子里须要镇静，

相信吧，快乐的日子将会来临！

心儿永远向往着未来，

现在却常是忧郁，

一切都是瞬息，

一切都将会过去，

而那过去了的，

就会成为亲切的回忆。

对了，前几天刷微信，还刷到了柴田奶奶98岁写的一首诗：请不要灰心呀！简单，却入耳又如心。共勉：

喂，说什么不幸，

有什么好叹气的呢？

阳光和微风，

从不曾有过偏心，

每个人都可以平等地做梦，

我也有过伤心的事情，

但活着，真开心，

你也别灰心。