Who You Are Determines Who You Marry

——Another Perspective of Marriage in Pride and Prejudice

Abstract: In pride and prejudice, Jane Austin described four different types of marriages and expressed her views about love and marriage that love plays more important role in marriage than money. In this paper another perspective of marriage is proposed through analysing the commonality of the four marriages in pride and prejudice. According to the deep analysis of the similarities of the couples, it comes out that knowledge and characters determine the compatibility of couples, and who you are determines who you marry.

Key Words: marriage; similarity; knowledge and characters; commonality

Pride and Prejudice

1 Introduction

“It is truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." [1]one of the most famous opening sentences in western classic literary, suggests that marriage may be the most important thing to women [2]in the18th- and 19th-century of England, just as important as the career to men. Jane Austin,the author of Pride and Prejudice and the greatest novelist, shows her views of love and marriage to us through the different type of marriage of the Bennet’ daughters. Jane thinks that marriage is not determined by property and social statue, but it is foolish not to considering them. It is wrong to marry for money, but it is unwise to marry without money. Austen’s views on marriage in Pride and Prejudice emphasizes love and economic condition, but love plays the significant role, which is the predominant aspect at Austin’s time.


2 The Commonality of Four Couples in Pride and Prejudice

There are four marriage types in Pride and Prejudice: felicitous Jane and Bingley, ideal Elizabeth and Darcy, realistic Charlotte and Collins, unhappy Lydiard and Wickham. But through analysis of the four couples we can find the commonality of them.

2.1 Jane and Bingley

Jane, the eldest daughter with broad mind and a kind heart, is the most beautiful one of all five daughters of the Bennet. Bingley, a rich, gentle and good-looking boy, falls in love with beautiful Jane at first sight. And Jane also admires Bingley according to the words she speaks to Elizabeth alone.“He is just what a young man ought to be, sensible, good humoured, lively, and I never saw such happy manners! - so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!”[1] There are some small setbacks for love between Jane and Bingley. But fortunately they are happily united at last after some trifle difficulties. Their marriage are relatively smooth.

Jane and Bingley fall in love with each other, not only just because both of them are beautiful or handsome, but also because of their similar characters. They are both cheerful, friendly, good-natured, and always ready to think the best of others. Meanwhile, both of them are week in judgment and easy to be influenced by others[3].They are quite felicitous couple in both good looks and gentle characters.

2.2 Elizabeth and Darcy

Elizabeth, the second daughter and the smartest one of all five girls, which made her father’s favorite daughter, has a pair of beautiful eyes. Stubborn and quick-witted, she likes reading books and knows her own minds. Darcy, handsome and intelligent, always holds pride and gives the feeling of haughty and cold to others at the first impression. The love story between Elizabeth and Darcy is full of twists and turns. Elizabeth refused Darcy’s first proposal decisively because of some misunderstandings from both pride and prejudice. Fortunately, she realized her wrong judgment and found the inner quality of Darcy at last, as a result of which she received the second proposal of Darcy and they ended up with happy marriage.

Elizabeth and Darcy may be the most ideal couple in Pride and Prejudice[4]. It is easy to find that there are several similarities between Elizabeth and Darcy. Firstly they are both intelligent and quick-witted. In addition, they both like read books and have their own minds. What’s the most important, Elizabeth has a sharp tongue and a tendency to make hasty judgments. She has pride in her abilities to perceive the truth of situation and of people’s characters. Like Elizabeth, Darcy also has a tendency to judge too hastily and harshly. He held his superlative pride and looked down upon Elizabeth and her family easily at the first sight. So we can see, Pride and prejudice are not really separate problems between Elizabeth and Darcy. It’s not just Darcy’s pride leading Elizabeth’s prejudice. To an extent, it’s both their strong sense of dignity that produced pride and prejudice. Based on above similarities of Elizabeth and Darcy, we believe that they are the most ideal and matched couple and will have a happy marriage.

2.3 Charlotte and Collins

Charlotte, with old age, usual appearance and ordinary property, are eager to be married and have a family. As the best friend of Elizabeth, even though she is astute enough to see how matters stand, she is also self-acknowledge and practical to choose marriage without love. Collins, the distant cousin of Elizabeth, a dogmatic and flattering pastor, also just wants a tolerable wife to marry. It can be seen when he proposed to Charlotte at once after failing in Elizabeth. Charlotte and Collins get married at last. They choose each other because both of them are practical and just want a wife or husband to establish a family, even it can have nothing to do with love[5]. This is the similarity of them.

2.4 Lydia and Wickham

Lydia, the youngest daughter of the Bennet, silly and empty-minded, was easily deceived by the evildoer Wickham. Wickham, greedy and idle, always disguises himself as a gentleman. It seems that Lydia didn’t find out what Wickham really is even when they got married. They are just like Zhou Yu and Huang Gai:the punishment is skillfully given by one and gladly accepted by another.

Based on above analysis of the four different types of marriage. you can find every couple has some similarities: friendly Jane married gentle Bingley; intelligent Elizabeth chose quick-witted Darcy; practical Charlotte married dogmatic Collins; stupid Lydia eloped with fraud Wickham. Even though Jane, Elizabeth and Lydia are all in the same Bennet family, they has different level of knowledge and character, which led to their different level of marriage. What kind level of them determines what kind level of their spouse. And that’s the commonality of the four couples in Pride and Prejudice.


3 Knowledge and Characters Determine the Compatibility of Couples

The same phenomenon doesn’t only exist in western classic literary Pride and Prejudice, but happens at Chinese popular urban TV series The Ode to Joy[6] as well. Excellent returnee elite Andy appeals to boss Bao with a family of outstanding background; foxy and forthright rich kid Qu Xiaoxiao ended happily with intelligent doctor Zhao; heartless little Qiu married guileless programmer Ying Qin; Little Guan with good taste met her true love—Xie Tong, a guitar singer. However, only senior HR Fan Shengmei didn’t end happily. She didn’t know how to improve herself by efforts and just always wanted to hook a rich husband. Although she received spare tire Wang Baichuan after failing, she put all her hope on Wang and never considered to undertake responsibilities by herself. And that’s why she lived alone at last. Fortunately she realized her problem finally. Obviously it’s quite unwise for a woman to lay all hope on men. Oneday, she may find her Mr right when she has changed totally by her efforts, wise and confident.

Thus it can be seen from the above there is a clear hierarchical difference in the quality of themselves and their mates. In general, excellent girls attract fine boys, ordinary girls draw plain ones. Anyway, birds of a feather flock together. The rule applies to making friends, so does choosing a mate. So knowledge and characters determine the compatibility of couples. People who are able to gain appreciation and admiration are always equal matches.


4 Conclusion

The quality of yourself determines that of your mate. It’s not who you marry achieves who you are, but who you are determines who you marry. And who are you? That is not your name, but the stories you experienced, the books you read, the people you met, the things you did and so on.

If you want a muscle man as a boyfriend, you may need to have a great figure at first. If you admire literary youth with good taste, you’d better read some books or listen to classical music as well. Don’t  daydream stupidly that a prince will come and fall in love with you one day, no matter how ordinary you are. The fairy tale of Cinderella doesn’t happen in real life, and the story overbearing CEO falling love with me also exists in novels only. Only when you are excellent enough, can you match it well in front of your desirable partner. Remember who you are determines who you marry.

References:

[1] Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice[M]. translated by Wang Keyi, Shanghai Translation         Press,1991.

[2]李学芹. Views on Marriage and Happiness in Pride and Prejudice[J]. 海外英语, 2012(20):194-197.

[3]辛淑兰. Beyond Pride and Prejudice: A Feminist Perspective of Happy Marriage in Pride and Prejudice[D]. 天津师范大学, 2006.

[4] SparkNotes Editors. SparkNote on Pride and Prejudice[Z]. SparkNotes.com. SparkNotes LLC. 2007.

[5]马瑛, 龚慧剑. “伴侣式爱情”的分析及其现实意义—《傲慢与偏见》的爱情类型理论分析[J]. 西北农林科技大学学报(社会科学版), 2009, 9(1):136-140.

[6]阿耐. 欢乐颂[M]. 四川文艺出版社, 2016.

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