“孩子的问题其实是爸爸妈妈问题的一种延续,一种投射,解决了爸爸妈妈的问题,孩子的问题自然就解决了!” ——彭凯平 清华大学心理学教授
关键词:压力,职业倦怠,父母倦怠,家庭角色支持
进入21世纪,养育子女方面出现的理想主义(例如,提倡温暖、敏感和支持的养育,将子女培养成精英等),父母的压力显著增加(Daly, 2007)。渴望遵守这种标准的父母们,在工作和育儿领域扮演着重要角色,而父母的倦怠成为了一个越来越重要的话题(Maslach & Leiter, 2016)。要知道,并不是所有的需求都能得到充分满足,父母在家庭和工作中的角色积累可能需要个人的稀缺资源,如时间、精力和承诺,并可能增强压力的体验(Hobfoll, 2001; Eby et al., 2005; Bakker & Demerouti, 2007)。角色需求的持久、过度,加上相关压力的积累,越来越多的人会经历倦怠(Weber & Jaekel-Reinhard, 2000; Maslach et al., 2001; Brewer & Shapard, 2004)。依赖于Hobfoll的资源保护理论(Hobfoll, 1989),倦怠表现为身体疲劳、情绪疲劳和认知疲劳的结合(Shirom, 2003, p. 250)。倦怠,是长期经历压力,或长期组织因素导致重复压力和耗尽个人资源的结果(Maslach & Schaufeli, 1993; Schaufeli et al., 1993; Truchot, 2004)。
职业倦怠
压力是导致职业倦怠的一个重要因素(Khalid et al., 2020)。职业压力是对一个人的工作表现缺乏控制的一种反应,当一个人不得不以他不能或不愿意的方式表现时,压力就会产生(Singhet al., 2020)。职业压力相关的因素有很多,例如:超负荷的工作量、工作不安全感(失业)、社会支持缺乏(比如管理欺凌,人际关系)、竞争和技术变革等等。值得注意的是,职业压力已被认为职业倦怠的前提,因为长期(慢性)的压力会导致严重的职业倦怠状态(Galanakis et al., 2020)。根据性别角色理论(Eagly & Wood, 2012),女性会遭受更多的女性职业倦怠,因为她们的责任并不仅限于工作,她们还有家庭任务,情绪超载时就会导致倦怠。而男性的职业倦怠的主要来源是女性职业倦怠。压力应对帮助调节压力-健康关系。例如,问题聚焦型应对在压力源和倦怠两个维度之间具有调节作用(Bhagat et al., 1995)。使用更多行为应对(问题聚焦型+情绪聚焦型)的夫妻表现出更少的情绪疲惫,即使在冲突较高的情况下,情绪疲惫的得分也低于那些使用较少行为应对的夫妇 (Recuero et al., 2021)。
父母倦怠
近几年,父母倦怠是一个新的,重要的研究话题。工作-家庭冲突的经历可以被视为父母倦怠的一个因素(Bakker & Geurts, 2004; Butler et al., 2005),工作和家庭领域的冲突也被发现与心理健康和工作倦怠有关(Geurts et al., 1999; Rupert et al., 2009)。
父母倦怠被认为是一种独特的、特定的综合征,一种表现在父母环境中的心理综合征 (Roskam et al., 2017),主要特征是父母角色相关的三个关键维度:(1)疲惫,父母觉得照顾孩子压力太大,觉得作为父母需要太多的参与。(2)情感疏离,指的是父母在情感上(而不是身体上)与孩子脱离关系,以远离让自己疲惫的源头。这意味着父母仍然在照顾孩子的生理需求,但在情感上投入较少,即对孩子发出的信号和需求缺乏敏感和响应。(3)个人成就感,是指父母认为自己不够称职,或父母角色成就感的缺乏,例如他们觉得作为父母,无法完成有价值的事情 (Roskam et al., 2017)。与女性相比,男性更可能面对的是父母倦怠,而不是工作方面的倦怠。长远来看,对家庭功能产生不利影响(在非工作领域对父母角色和子女的影响),还可能影响父母双方在工作领域的表现 (Bakel et al., 2018)。
孩子的角色:帮助父母应对压力和倦怠
积极心理学的各种研究表明,心理资本的四个维度:希望,弹性,乐观,自我效能,单独或组合一起可以帮助应对压力和倦怠(Avey et al., 2009)。当我们关注于教育心理学来应对孩子的问题,不妨换个角度,通过一些“心理学规律”,让孩子成为父母应对压力和倦怠的好帮手。以下四个情景建议方案:
希望能削弱压力和倦怠之间的关系,让压力转化为倦怠的几率降低(Passmore et al., 2020);弹性帮助更好地管理日常生活中的压力(Grover & Furnham, 2021);乐观使人能够从使事情变得更好的角度去思考,而不是接受现状(Luthans, 2002);自我效能高的人比自我效能低的人能更好地应对压力情境(Klassen & Durksen, 2014)。
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