作者是 Leo Babauta.
有两个障碍,阻止我们完成有意义的工作,我们大多数人都习以为常:
- 负担和抱怨:感觉工作是个负担(困难,无法完成,惹人生厌)……你可能会去做这个工作,但是只是匆匆做个样子,在心底抱怨它,总之就是不想做。
2.认为不重要并推迟:并没有必要马上完成这项困难的工作……然后你就推迟它,再找个理由解释推迟是合理的。
这些看起来像不像你?你或许感觉到至少有一个问题(如果不是两个的话),因为它们太普遍了。
第一个模式导致我们的工作(在人际关系和个人生活中不得不做的事情)像是个巨大的负担,让我们对工作产生了负面情绪。如果你和搭档一起,他们会感受到。如果你和孩子和家庭中其他成员一起,他们会感受到,如果你在工作中这样做,你的工作就会更糟糕。
第二个模式,我们为应该做而没有做的事情找借口,这降低了其他人对自己的信任,也降低了自我信任。因为这些事情看上去那么令人不舒服,我们并不能真正百分百的投入并且尽量避免那些艰难的承诺。
如果你能改变这些模式和你要做的一切事情,会发生什么呢?
如果你有这些问题,我有一些简单的思维模式提供给你尝试,并且我认为可以改变这一切:
- …把它看成"双向礼物"。当你有个任务要完成,它可以看作是个负担……但是你也可以将它看成你或者其他人的一个礼物。比如:如果我必须写一篇文章,我可以认为是写作的负担……或者有机会能够写作并帮助到别人,这是我得到的一个礼物。并且我的写作也是给其他人的礼物,或许能帮助那些正在奋斗的人。能收到这样的礼物是多么美妙的事情呀!能给别人这样的礼物是难以置信的荣幸。
2…提醒你自己工作的重要性。是不是觉得在你面前的工作并不重要,所以你有理由推迟它?或者你选择了错误的工作(选择与你关注的事情有联系的工作),或者你忘记了这项工作的重要的地方。为你的孩子做午饭?为你所爱的人服务,填饱他们的肚子是我们大多数人最重要的事情之一。需要打一些电话?为了维护良好的关系,打电话代表着你努力和你关心的人保持良好的关系,电子邮件和短讯也是一样的作用。对我来说,为Zen Habits(博客)或者Fearless Training Program写作或者录制视频是重要的事情,因为它连接着我和那些正在奋斗的人,真正践行的人,他们和我共同在这美好的旅程中。所有你们的内心对我都是无比重要,我为你们做的每一个动作都是极端重要。我只是要不断提醒自己(比我承认的还要频繁),并且将我的内心和那些有意义的任务连接在一起。
3…想象(短暂的)你的生命已经不长了。最后,你可以尝试提醒自己死亡就要降临了。听上去这有些令人不安,没必要这么吓唬人,但这是个事实。我们剩下的时间有限,而且我们不知道还有多少时间。我们喜欢假设死亡永不来临,这当然不可能。如果你只剩下一年,你会怎样打发它?如果你来日不多,你会怎样度过这一天?忘记了什么是重要的又被分心了?还是将你自己投入到有意义的工作中,将你的内心和你真正关心的事情连接在一起。
这宝贵的一天,你就是珍贵的礼物……全身心的投入,全身心的为你关心的人付出,展现出你狂热的爱,这就是给予周围所有人的礼物。为那些你所连接的人和事,为了这个时刻的礼物,展现出充满爱的感激之情,
原文:
The two biggest obstacles to doing meaningful work are familiar to many of us:
Burden & complaint : The work feels like a burden (difficult, overwhelming, annoying) … you might do the task but you rush through it or mentally complain about it, not wanting to do it.
Unimportant & putting it off: It doesn’t feel important to do this difficult task right now … so you feel like putting it off. You rationalize why it’s OK to put it off.
Either of these sound like you? You probably recognize yourself in at least one of these (if not both), as they’re incredible common.
The first pattern makes our work (and things we have to do in our relationships and personal lives) feel like a huge burden, which makes us have a negative attitude towards the work. If you do this with your partner, they’ll feel it. If you do this with your kids or other family members, they’ll feel it. If you do this at work, your work will suck more.
The second pattern makes us rationalize not doing something we committed to doing, which makes people trust us less and makes us trust ourselves less. We don’t really feel 100% committed to anything, and are avoiding the tough commitments because they seem uncomfortable.
What would happen if you could transform those patterns and everything you have to do? What would happen if you felt 100% committed to the things that are truly important to you? What would happen if you felt joy in being able to do your tasks? It’s possible.
If these are patterns for you, I have a few simple mindset shifts to try out, that I think will transform everything:
See it as a “two-way gift”. When you have a task to do, it can feel like a burden … but you could also see it as a gift. For yourself, and for others. For example: if I have to write an article, I could feel the burden of writing it … or see this opportunity to write and help others as a gift I’ve been given. And my writing as a gift to others, that might help them when they’re struggling. What a beautiful thing, to be able to receive this gift! And to give a gift to others is an incredible privilege.
Remind yourself of it’s importance. Does it feel like the tasks you have in front of you aren’t that important, so that you can rationalize putting them off? Then either you’re picking the wrong tasks (pick ones that feel connected to something you care about), or you’ve forgotten the importance of that task. Making lunch for your kids? Serving your loved ones and putting food in their bellies is one of the most important things many of us do. Need to make some phone calls? Serving the relationships that those calls represent is an act of devotion to the people you care about. Same with emails and other messages. For me, writing or recording a video for Zen Habits or my Fearless Training Program is important because it connects me with others who are struggling, who are practicing, who are on this beautiful journey with me. All of your hearts are incredibly important to me, and every act I do for you guys is of utmost importance. I just need to remind myself of that now and then (more often than I would often admit), and connect my heart to that meaningful mission.
Meditate (briefly) on the shortness of your life. Finally, you might try reminding yourself that death is coming. That might sound morbid and unnecessarily dark, but it’s a certain fact. We only have a limited amount of time left, and we don’t know how much that is. We like to pretend that it’s forever, but it’s certainly not. If you only have a year left, how do you want to spend it? If you have limited time left, how do you want to spend today? Forgetting about what’s important and being distracted? Or pouring yourself into meaningful work and connecting your heart to what you truly care about?
With this precious day that you’ve been given as a gift … show up fully committed. Show up fully devoted to the people you care about. Show up with fierce love that is a gift to all those around you. Show up with full loving appreciation for those you’re connected to, and for the gift of this moment.