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My husband and I took Jason and his older sister, Leslie, to the Museum of Natural History. We really enjoyed it, and the kids were just great. Only on the way out we had to pass a gift shop. Jason, our four-year-old, went wild over the souvenirs. Most of the stuff was overpriced, but we finally bought him a little set of rocks. Then he started whining for a model dinosaur. I tried to explain that we had already spent more than we should have. His father told him to quit his complaining and that he should be happy for what we did buy him. Jason began to cry. My husband told him to cut it out, and that he was acting like a baby. Jason threw himself on the floor and cried louder.
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Everyone was looking at us. I was so embarrassed that I wanted the floor to open up. Then—I don’t know how the idea came to me—I pulled a pencil and paper out of my bag and started writing. Jason asked what I was doing. I said, “I’m writing that Jason wishes he had a dinosaur.” He stared at me and said, “And a prism, too.” I wrote, “A prism, too.”
Then he did something that bowled me over. He ran over to his sister, who was watching the whole scene, and said, “Leslie, tell Mommy what you want. She’ll write it down for you, too.” And would you believe it, that ended it. He went home very peacefully.
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I’ve used the idea many times since. Whenever I’m in a toy store with Jason and he runs around pointing to everything he wants, I take out a pencil and a scrap of paper and write it all down on his “wish list.” That seems to satisfy him. And it doesn’t mean I have to buy any of the things for him—unless maybe it’s a special occasion. I guess what Jason likes about his “wish list” is that it shows that I not only know what he wants but that I care enough to put it in writing.
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This final story speaks for itself.
I’ve just been through one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. My six-year-old daughter, Suzanne, has had croup before, but never an attack like this. I was terrified. She couldn’t breathe and started to turn color. I couldn’t get an ambulance, so I had to drive her to the emergency room along with my son Brian and my mother, who was visiting for the day.
My mother was completely hysterical. She kept repeating, “Oh, my God! She can’t breathe. We’ll never make it! What have you done to this child?”
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In a voice louder than my mother’s I said, “Suzie, I know you’re having trouble breathing. I know it’s scary. We’re on our way now to get help. You’re going to be all right. If you like, you can hold on to my leg while I drive.” She held on to my leg.
At the hospital, two doctors and a few nurses crowded around. My mother was still ranting and raving. Brian asked me if Suzie will really die like Grandma keeps saying. I didn’t have time to answer, because the doctors were trying to keep me out of the room and I knew Suzie needed me to be there. I could see by her eyes that she was terrified.
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They gave her a shot of Adrenalin. I said, “That hurts, doesn’t it?” She nodded. Then they put a tube down her throat. I said, “I know the tube must hurt, but it will help you.” She still wasn’t breathing normally, and they put her into an oxygen tent. I said, “It must feel strange with all that plastic around you. But this is also to help you breathe and get well.” Then I put my hand through the zippered part of the tent and held her hand and told her, “I will not leave you. I’ll be here with you even when you’re asleep. I’ll be here as long as you need me.”
Her breathing became a little easier, but her condition was still critical and I stayed with her for seventy-two hours with practically no sleep. Thank God she pulled through.
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I know that without these workshops it would have been very different. I would have been in a complete panic. By talking to her the way I did, by letting her know I knew what she was going through, I relaxed her so she didn’t fight all the medical treatment she was getting.
I really feel I helped to save Suzie’s life
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