爱，不是心智产物，对吧？爱，不止于性，对吧？爱，是心智所不能想象的；爱，是不能按配方定制的。若彼此没有爱，你与人建立关系，或步入了婚姻殿堂，那么婚后你们“自我调整，相互适应”……多么美妙的词藻！你们彼此调整，这又是心智的虚构，不是吗？这种调整显然是心力造作，其实一切调整均如此。无疑，爱是不能调适的。

各位都知道，如果你爱某个人，这爱中没有自我调适，只有完全的心心交融。只有心中没有爱时，我们才开始调整自我，这就是所谓的婚姻。所以，婚姻会失败，因为这样的婚姻是二人冲突与战争之源。与所有问题一样，婚姻问题也是异常复杂，而且益发复杂，因为两个人的趣味和欲望如都太强。若只是自我调整，这样的心灵绝非纯洁；若在性中追寻快乐，也非纯洁，虽然你可能从中获得了短暂的忘我，但对快乐的追逐发自心智，反过来又让心智变得庸俗肮脏。

唯心里有爱，纯洁才会萌发。

——克里希那穆提《生命书：365观心日课》（The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti）

Love Is Incapable of Adjustment

Love is not a thing of the mind, is it? Love is not merely the sexual act, is it? Love is something which the mind cannot possibly conceive. Love is something which cannot be formulated. And without love, you become related; without love, you marry. Then, in that marriage, you “adjust yourselves” to each other. Lovely phrase! You adjust yourselves to each other, which is again an intellectual process, is it not? … This adjustment is obviously a mental process. All adjustments are. But, surely, love is incapable of adjustment.

You know, sirs, don’t you, that if you love another, there is no “adjustment.” There is only complete fusion. Only when there is no love do we begin to adjust. And this adjustment is called marriage. Hence, marriage fails, because it is the very source of conflict, a battle between two people. It is an extraordinarily complex problem, like all problems, but more so because the appetites, the urges, are so strong. So, a mind which is merely adjusting itself can never be chaste. A mind which is seeking happiness through sex can never be chaste. Though you may momentarily have, in that act, self-abnegation, self-forgetfulness, the very pursuit of that happiness, which is of the mind, makes the mind unchaste.

Chastity comes into being only where there is love.

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