l have be through a tough period of my life recently. Luckily I am strong enough to not break drown. I can pretend to be like nothing big happened and nobody can notice the nervousness beneath my mask.
But deep down I can feel that something is wrong. Yesterday, I was suddenly hit by the feeling of empty again even if I have been trying hard to walk out of my comfort zone and in fact I have made quite a lot of progress. But the feeling of every thing I did is meaningless overweighted all the concrete progress I made. I even started to question if being happy has a meaning?
I want to build an outlet for this emotion. So I guess it is the time to restart the old habit to jogging down five things that I am grateful for on daily basis again. I want to have a peaceful mind
1. participated a conference of my field and made two new friends
2. bought delicious food out of the campus for dinner
3. I fetched the package bought on taobao and the pants really fits me
4. Even though one senior student still passing his passive emotions to me . I can be less emotionally involved and play a role of an onkooker
5. I am so lucky that I have been so brave recently
Good night