All anyone asks for is a chance to work with pride.
每个人都期望有一个机会从事能引以为傲的工作。——威廉·爱德华·戴明
我是小花,一只上班喵,一株英语趴,天有点冷,人有点懒,小花在努力学英语,跟简书语言·翻译群一起。
很高兴认识你,这是我的第12篇笔记。
写在最前面:
你知道的~本文出现的参考翻译与讲解内容均来自简书语言·翻译群内夏天主编的解析。
11月11日 练习。请将以下中文用英文表达。
街道为恶作剧的阳光弄成泥淖,残雪上面画着片片践踏的痕迹。
参考译文:(源自张培基先生)
The streets had become slushy by exposure to the prankish sun, and the thawing snow was dotted with traces of footsteps.
解析:
1、句式处理。首先我们可以看到原文是一个整句,所以翻译时处理成一个整句会比较忠实原文。或者用and连接,或者用定语从句,两种方法都可以。这两种方法,都有同学使用,是非常好的尝试。
2、slushy的含义是Slushy ground is covered in dirty, wet snow. 这个词专门用来形容泥雪覆盖的; 满是泥雪的
例如:Here and there a drift across the road was wet and slushy.
3、exposure是暴露的意思,译文用了一个介词by就很准确地体现了阳光与泥雪之间的因果关系。
4、prankish,其含义是naughtily or annoyingly playful 恶作剧的,爱开玩笑的。近义词有puckish ,意思是showing that you are amused by otherpeople, and like to make jokes about them淘气的,顽皮的
夏天主编说:如果考试中我们想不出来prankish这样级别的词语,使用naughty也是可以的。在退一步tricky也可以被接受。
5、语态处理。注意一下“残雪上面画着片片践踏的痕迹”的处理,我们看到这句是主动态,翻译成英文时就可以选择英文中更普遍采用的被动态!参考译文就是这样处理的。
6、thawing,thaw这个词特指冰雪等融化,When ice, snow, or something else thatis frozen thaws, it melts.
7、dot,这个词含义很多,有兴趣的可以查词典,这里采用的含义是布满、星罗棋布于,请注意dot这个含义时,常用被动态。if an area is dotted with things, there are a lot of them there but they are spread far apart 布满,星罗棋布于 be dotted with也是一个固定词组
例如:The lake was dotted with sailboats.
夏天主编说:所以dot这个词既可以体现“画”又可以体现“片片”。像断角梧桐老师用的spot也有类似含义,大家可以查字典进一步了解。
8、有小伙伴用了fragmentary,这个词的含义是Something that is fragmentary is made up of small or unconnected pieces. 以及 consisting of many different small parts 。这个词偏强调某整体的事物由许多不连续的小块事物组成。例如a fragmentary story. 而雪上污痕由不同人各自踩出,彼此独立,所以貌似这个词不合适
夏天主编总结:大家可以注意一下,第一,如何用连词或者定语从句来表达一整句话;第二,翻译中被动态的用法;第三,今天的练习大概有些生词与熟词生义,可以积累起来。
群里大神的翻译:
梧桐断角老师
The sunshine played a childish trick on the streets which became slushy by exposure to the sun, and the thawing snow was spotted with traces of footsteps.(主编评:大大的作品哈!exposure,thawing,slushy,spot都用的特别地道!)
麦田里的仰望者老师
The streets were made muddy by tricksy sunshine, in which the remaining snow were printed with massive footmarks.(主编评:翻译的很好。footmark用的很好)
兔宝兔老师
The mischievous sunshine turned the streets into mire and scrawled countless footprints on the melting snow.(主编评:做的很好。很简洁有力的风格)
不会英语的小花
The streets became muddy because of exposure to the sunshine, the traces of footsteps were left on the remaining snow.(主编评:恶作剧没体现出来。“画”这个动词也没体现)
此次经验值:不会就直译,必须直译。
以上,周末愉快哦~爱学习的你~