<p>这几年拖延症好像很流行、很时髦。</p><p>很多人都判断自己有拖延症，一方面觉得很困扰，一方面又觉得很洋气。</p><p>拖延其实是一种心理学的状态，并不是一个真正的病。</p><p>如果你真的去翻一些精神疾病类的书，去看精神病障碍分类与诊断标准，你是找不到符合临床诊断的叫做拖延的这么一个疾病的。</p><p>我们可以给拖延换个说法，比如我们可以说拖延是一种习惯，或者是一种推辞。</p><p>所有的拖延都是一种推辞，但并不是所有的推辞都能叫做拖延。只有当一项推迟同时满足两个条件，才能被称为是拖延。</p><p>第一个是结果是有害的；第二个它是本来可以避免的。</p><p>比如说你本来有一年的时间来准备毕业论文，却偏偏一拖再拖，直到答辩前三周还没有动笔。最后面因为论文不过，你被延期毕业。这就是一个典型的拖延<span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">首先你本来有时间做，却没有做。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">其次呢，这个结果已经对你造成了危害，这就是真拖延。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">我们换个例子看看是不是真拖延。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">假设，我希望在业余时间写作，年底前出自己的第一本书。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">但是，我每天完成咨询工作都很忙，周末也要拿出不少时间陪家人，所以创作的进度一再推迟。一想到写作这个事儿，我就很自责，觉得自己很拖延。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">那么这种情况下面我到底有没有拖延呢？</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">有几种可能：</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">1，我可能要看看工作和写作到底哪个更加重要。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">假如工作确实更重要，而且占用的时间精力是无法缩减的。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">那么，推迟创作计划虽然很有害，但是这个推迟是无可避免的，因为我本来就干不了那么多活儿。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">这不能叫拖延，得叫推迟。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">2，我重新盘点了一遍计划，发现根本就没有必要赶在工作最忙的这几个月开始写作计划。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">我完全可以推迟，过了高峰期，这样每个阶段专心做一件事，进度反而会更快。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">这种情况下我发现推辞是可以避免，但是其实是无害的，这种就是一种积极的推辞。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">3，假如我通过自我分析发现，从内心深处来说，我其实想写作就是一时冲动。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">并没有真正的兴趣和爱好，而且能力也不具备，所以我才拖。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">而这个阶段呢，做好咨询工作也的确需要花我很多的时间。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">那么，这种推迟是无可避免的，而且没有什么坏处，甚至是个好事儿。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">我更加清晰的了解自己了，直接断舍离掉好了。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">4，通过分析以后发现，写作对我很有意义，而且推辞的确会妨碍我的进度。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">但是我仔细分析下来，我并不是时间不够，只是自己没有好好利用这些时间。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">大部分时间都花在了无意义的事情上面。看看这个，看看那个，开始动笔又动来动去。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">这种本来可以避免，这种才是真正的是拖延。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">讲到这儿，你可能理解了70%的你认为的拖延行为，其实都可能并不是真正的拖延。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">只是没有深入的分析原因，没有了解自己的真实需求、能力等。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">很多人莫名其妙的就自封为拖延症，一说拖延症，好像整个人都不好了。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">因为有拖延症，所以拖延，因为拖延，所以更加印证了自己的拖延症，恶性循环。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">比如我，也不是所有事情都拖延，我只有在某一些环境下，某一些事情上，才会出现拖延现象。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">那能说我这个人有问题吗？不能。</span></p><p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", "PingFang SC", "Hiragino Sans GB", "Microsoft YaHei", "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol";">得区分问题和人，让问题或者现像，成为自己的启蒙老师，借助问题来看到问题的本质，看到问题的真相。</span></p><div class="image-package"><img src="https://upload-images.jianshu.io/upload_images/12780849-f97bac7a153c89ad.jpeg" contenteditable="false" img-data="{"format":"jpeg","size":329984,"width":2000,"height":1498,"space":"srgb","channels":3,"depth":"uchar","density":72,"chromaSubsampling":"4:2:0","isProgressive":false,"hasProfile":false,"hasAlpha":false}" class="uploaded-img" style="min-height:200px;min-width:200px;" width="auto" height="auto"/>
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