本周共读完《Why Fish Don't Exist》,记录下共读群里看这本书相应问题及我的回答,共计6个问题,如果你也有兴趣看这本书,可以试试带着下面的问题,然后思考自己的回答。
故事梗概:作者从小被父亲关于生命无意义理论压的喘不过来气,想从研究David中获得答案,文中两条线并行,一条是作者研究David的过程,一条是自己的亲身经历,最后作者能不能有救赎呢?
#1: 请在共读开始前回答此问题
In a sense this book is about chaos and resilience. Please share a time that you faced chaos and how did you feel? What strategy did you use to help go through it? How did that experience change you (if at all)?
我的回答:每个人都有每个人的chaos,境况,身体,精神。一开始遇见是不知所措,仿佛天塌下来一般,可是经过了一个又一个之后,突然发现chaos是人生的一个常态。想起一次工作中遇到的chaos,下班后很有情绪的在路上走着,碰到了一个书店,就进去漫无目的的逛着然后拿起一本随机的书,坐在地上看了半小时后,堵在心口的大石突然不见了,于是买了那本书然后走出了书店。这也算我于阅读的缘起。于是阅读成了我的兴趣之一。每一次的 chaos 都是在打磨一次resilience,相辅相成不可避免。chaos的时候想对抗就对抗,想丧就丧,因为resilience终究会来,早晚而已。
#2: Chaper 3
On vacation in Wellfleet at the age of seven, standing in a marsh, she asked the scientist father she adored the meaning of life: “My dad paused, raising one black eyebrow behind the binoculars. Then he turned to me grinning and announced, ‘Nothing!’ ” He explained that “there is no meaning of life. There is no point. There is no God. No one watching you or caring in any way. There is no afterlife. No destiny. No plan … the truth is, none of this matters, and you don’t matter.”
Do you agree with the father? When was the first, or, the most recent time when you think about the meaning of life? What was your answer?
我的回答:不同意。因为活着本身就是意义(最近看《狮子之家的点心日》才有的感悟)。之前疫情的时候思考过生命的意义,纠结好久。既然最后的终点都是一样,有意义和无意义又有什么不同?不是什么事情都有标准答案,现下的我生命的意义:活在当下(未来会不会变,只有未来的我知道)。随着经历增加和认知的改变,同一个问题的答案也会不停的变。既然人生是一次单向旅行,那就enjoy 吧!
#3: Chaper 5
One of the recurring ideas of the book is that "even scientists like ritual".
Why do you think she included that? (Is she saying that science is important, but scientists are humans too; humans that need meaning, ritual, spirituality? That we should move slowly and carefully when considering/accepting science especially as it impacts questions of morality/ethics?)
我的回答:科学家也是人的一种分类,可终究也是人,人一生中的各种ritual(出生 、成长、结婚、离婚和殯葬等仪式),这是不是也是一种刻在骨子里的被标记。探索新物种并命名是充满挑战和无序的,但是新物种按照规定的方式存储,按照惯例分层也是一种ritual(stereotyped behavior,any customary observance or practice)。人总是在无序到有序再到无序里无限循环。ritual是对抗chaos的一种方式。
#4: Chaper 8
Our understanding of "self-delusion" has transfromed from biblical times to today's psychology research.
How do you think of the idea of self-delusion? Is it harmful or helpful to us as individuals?
我的回答:self-delusion需要掌握“度”,好坏全凭自己把握,没有标准答案。低谷期适当的self-delusion增加幸福感,高峰期过度的self-delusion就是灾难。感觉生活中的一些小事可以self-delusion,但是重大事件还是要现实一点。self-delusion只是一种思想工具,用好了就是褒义词,用坏了就是贬义词,当然有时它还是个中性词。
#5: Chaper 12
When thinking about the meaning of life, toward the end of the book she offers the metaphor of the dandelion…”a weed to gardener, but to an herbalist valuable (aides digestion) and to a painter it might be pigment.” She suggests that nothing has intrinsic value, value is something that we assign.
Do you agree? How have you seen this in your own life?
我的回答:同意。就像我们对于很多人来说就是路人,但是对于一些人(我们的家人,爱人,朋友),我们是独一无二的。生命的意义到底是什么?每个人都是不一样的,不同的人生阶段也不一样,没有统一的答案。只要继续活着,总有一天会找到属于自己的终极意义吧,当然暂时没有又有什么关系呢,自己的意义自己定义。
#6: Rethink chaos
After reading this book, has your perception of choas changed? Looking back the incident you described in #1, would you consider the situations/your actions differently?
我的回答:没什么改变。整本书看下来,感受到了质疑的可贵之处。
作者从小被父亲的人生无意义大石头压得喘不过气来。通过研究大佬发现原来大佬也是人,有好的一面也有不好的一面,人是复杂的。心头的大石一点点变轻,开始质疑父亲的想法,或许意义也是复杂的。然后从遇到的人和事当中重建了自我,形成了自己的价值体系,找寻到了属于自己独一无二的意义。
这也增加了对chaos这个词的质疑,一般听到这个词语都是贬义,对于大自然是不是再正常不过的中性词,就像呼吸一样的存在。换个想法面对chaos就不会有那么多的畏难情绪,更平静的处理生活中的chaos。就像人们常说的:除了生死,都是小事。