- Dah-dah-dah-dah-dah! - Yeah, um-- |
-隆重登场-没错 |
So you just sit in a crowd, they'll say your name |
你只要坐在人堆里他们叫你 |
- and you'll just wave. - I'll just wave. |
-你就挥个小手-挥挥手 |
Yeah, just wave and look vaguely Latino. |
挥挥手再来稍微点拉丁风 |
- This is a very easy job. - It's perfect for you. |
-小菜一碟啊-简直为你量身定做 |
Well, welcome everybody. |
大家好 |
Um, first order of business: |
首先要说的是 |
we're sticking with NAMBLA. |
我们的主题就是美国地区新上任的少数民族领导 |
Just letting you know. |
就跟大家说下 |
Well, we spent quite a bit of money in letterhead, |
我们发邀请信花了很多钱 |
so we're just-- we're backing that play for right now. |
现在还是快切入主题吧 |
But basically, |
但我们的目的 |
for not only promoting an African-American |
因为它不仅让一个黑人 |
as it's CEO, |
做了首席执行官 |
but for now promoting a Latino |
现在还提拔了一名拉丁裔 |
as its VP of sales. |
做销售总监 |
Let's get a little applause. That's what I'm talking about. |
大家给点掌声好吗这就对了 |
That's it. Just keep with the Mexican waving. |
就这样继续墨西哥式挥手 |
That's good. You're doing great, Tim. |
很好你干得不错小炯 |
Yeah! Now let's see if we can get Tim |
现在让我们把小炯 |
up here to say a few words. |
请出来说两句 |
Oh, no, I prefer to just wave. |
算了我情愿一直挥手 |
Get up here, you Hispanic son of a bitch. |
快上来你个拉丁裔小崽子 |
- No. - Tim, up here on the stage! |
-算了-小炯快到台上来 |
You know, I'd love to, but I do not habla ingles. |
我想是想但我个拉丁裔不会讲英语啊 |
- Okay.- I do not speak your language. |
-好吧-我不会讲英语 |
- No problem. No problem. - No problem? |
-没关系没关系-没关系 |
We can get a translator up here. |
我们给找个翻译就成 |
- No. - Do you speak spanish? |
-天啊-你会讲西班牙语吗 |
Um, a little. Enough to get through |
会点儿混过一番激情演讲 |
- an inspirational speech probably. - Tremendous. |
-应该没问题-太好了 |
Give it up for Timothy Sanchez. |
掌声欢迎小炯·桑切斯 |
Hola. Hola. Hola. Hola. |
你们好你们好 |
Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. |
你们好你们好 |
Three questions I want. |
我要问三个问题 |
Where is the bathroom? |
洗手间往哪走 |
The bathroom is good. |
洗手间很不错 |
Chicken and rice. |
鸡肉和大米 |
- Gracias. - Thank you. |
-谢谢-谢谢 |
- Hola. - Hi. |
-你们好-你们好 |
All right, people, huddle up. |
大家来来来抱团开会 |
We're in disaster mode here. |
我们现在危机重重 |
No one believes Tim is Hispanic. |
没人相信小炯是拉丁裔 |
- I can't believe it. - This is a PR nightmare. |
-难以置信-这是个公关噩梦 |
Okay, ideas. What do we do? |
快点想法子我们该怎么做 |
完整版请点击 |
|
Well, Omnicorp could admit blame |
公司可以认错 |
- and issue a formal apology. - You're-- you're fired. |
-然后公开道歉-你你被炒了 |
Awful idea. Next. |
什么破点子下一个 |
I think I've got an idea. |
我有点子了 |
- Go. - He forged his work visa, |
-说-这个所谓小炯 |
this "Tim". |
他伪造了工作签证 |
He lied to all of us and the firm, |
他对我们对公司都撒了谎 |
and Omnicorp is absolutely shocked |
公司被这个真相 |
and appalled by this news |
惊呆了 |
and then just have the son of a bitch deported. |
立即把这个小崽子驱逐出境 |
- I love it. - No. |
-我喜欢-表 |
I did not think we'd find a solution this quickly. |
没想到这么快就找到了解决方案 |
Let's fast-track that idea. |
快点实施吧 |
Somebody call lmmigration now. |
快点来个人打给移民局 |
Tim, call lmmigration. |
小炯你打 |
I'd rather not. Let's keep thinking. |
不要这样还是继续想吧 |
Tim, the deporting idea is great. |
小炯驱逐的点子很好啊 |
- No. - We ship you back to Mexico. |
-不-我们把你运回墨西哥 |
The whole thing blows over. We can order lunch. |
完事了我们还有时间点午餐 |
It's a win-win for everyone. |
对大家都好嘛 |
No, it's win-lose. I lose. |
你们爽了我呢被抛弃了 |
- We win. - Yeah, let's just hear everyone out. |
-我们爽了-听听大家的意见吧 |
I think we've heard it all. |
已经听得够多的了 |
Let's throw it all out. What's-- |
别遮遮掩掩还有 |
- There are no more ideas. - Charlie? |
-没有别的想法了-老李 |
- I have an idea. - Oh, boy. |
-我有个想法-不是吧 |
- Let him talk. - Okay, just listen to this. |
-让他说-听我说 |
- He's got ideas. - Yeah. |
-他有点子啊-好吧 |
- Nobody's stopping him. - I suppose we could, umm... |
-没人拦着他-我提议我们 |
- work our media connections... - That's great. |
-可以利用我们的媒体网络-很好 |
...and we could send him on a cable news show, |
把他送到有线电视新闻节目上 |
put a Latino wife by his side |
在他旁边摆个拉丁裔老婆 |
and that should convince most people. |
这样一来大家都会信了 |
- That's good. - That could work. |
-那不错-行得通诶 |
- Tim... - Yeah? |
-小炯-怎么 |
can you find a fake Latino wife |
在明晚之前你能找个 |
- by tomorrow night? - Can l? |
-假冒的拉丁老婆吗-我吗 |
I can find one or my name is not Tim Sanchez. |
我找不到我就不叫炯桑切斯 |
Your name is not Tim Sanchez. |
你确实不叫小炯·桑切斯 |
Here goes nothing. |
管他的 |
Maria? Hi, it's Tim. |
玛丽亚吗我是小炯 |
We went to junior high together. |
你的初中同学 |
This is going to sound like a slightly strange request, |
我有个请求听上去会有点奇怪 |
but I'm going on a talk show tomorrow night |
明晚我要参加一个脱口秀 |
and I need someone to pose as my fake Latino wife. |
要找个人假扮我的拉丁裔妻子 |
Maria? |
玛丽亚 |
This is surprisingly difficult. |
这真心困难啊 |
- If it isn't my favorite customer. - Oh, Debbie. |
-这不是我最爱的客人吗-黛比 |
- Hello. - What are you doing here? |
-你好啊-你在干吗 |
- Well, I'm working. - Really? |
-在工作-是吗 |
- This is my street. - This is my street too. |
-这条街归我-这条街也是我的 |
- I work where you live. - That's true. |
-我在你住的地方工作-没错 |
Do these pants reveal enough of my rear end? |
这条裤子的洞开得够大吗 |
I'm going to say yes. |
我会说够了 |
- Ooh, that sounds good. - I can see the whole thing. |
-不错-整个屁屁我都看见了 |
- Really? - 90%. |
-真的吗-百分之九十 |
Moon's coming up and everything? |
重要部分都露出来了 |
Yeah, that's more than enough. |
是啊露太多了 |
Oh, hey, what ethnicity are you? |
你是什么种族的 |
- I'm a lot of things. - Yeah? |
-我混好多地方的血统呢-是吗 |
I'm black and white... |
我是黑白混血 |
and I'm from New Jersey-- Secaucus. |
家在新泽西的西考克斯 |
- Okay. - And also-- |
-明白-不过 |
Secaucus is not an ethnicity, but you know what? |
西考克斯不是个种族我想说 |
My question is, can you pass for Hispanic? |
问题是你会说西班牙语吗 |
Oh, many people tell me I look like J Lo. |
很多人说我像J罗 |
- That's Jennifer Lopez. - I can see that. |
-是詹妮弗·洛佩兹啦-看出来了 |
I'm going on a talk show tomorrow |
明晚我要参加一个脱口秀 |
and I just need a fake Latino wife. |
需要有人假扮我的拉丁裔妻子 |
- Oh, do you want me? - You'll be the fake Latino wife. |
-你要我去吗-就你来当吧 |
- Oh, my goodness! - That's great, right? |
-我的天-很棒吧 |
- Oh, I'd love to go, Tim. - Nice. |
-我很愿意小炯-太好了 |
Do you have something appropriate you can wear? |
你有正常点的衣服吗 |
Oh yes. I'll just wear my business suit. |
有啊我穿职业装来就好了 |
- Here it is. - That's the-- that's the business suit? |
-就是这套-这就是你的职业装吗 |
- Oh, I love it. - It's assless. |
-我爱死这套了-屁屁都露出来了 |