关键点
自我同理心对于改善人们的健康和福祉至关重要，但它似乎难以实现。
当事情出错时，人们可能更快地责怪自己并感到内疚，而不是宽恕自己。
接受不完美并进行简单的肯定有助于自我同理心。
你如何对待自己会深深影响你的健康和幸福。
什么是自我同理心？它对我们如此有益，为什么却显得如此难以捉摸？对别人产生同理心似乎比对自己容易得多。
自我同理心是一种关爱他人的承诺，而不是羞辱或惩罚自己，尤其是在你犯了错误的时候。也许你的第一反应是过于努力或对自己的进步不耐烦。或者你可能会因为工作中或与亲人交流时表现不佳而自责。或者你可能太快地憎恨或责怪自己。没有自我同理心，这些都是双输的局面。这就是为什么自我同理心对于成为一个健康、有力量、有同理心的人如此重要。
由于这个主题绝对重要，我在我的书《同理心的天才》中用整整一章来讨论它。请阅读本章中的信息，了解我为什么将自我同理心描述为你生活中的治愈力量。以下是开始练习自我同理心的八个技巧。
建立自我同理心的 8 个技巧
善待他人也要善待自己。
尊重自己的需求，而不是总是把别人放在第一位。
在困难时期，要对自己有同情心，而不是责备和羞辱。
对不健康的行为设定尊重的界限。
允许自己与支持自己、积极的人在一起。
允许自己接受别人的关心、帮助和爱。
当你把事情做好的时候，要对自己感到高兴。
治愈性肯定句是获得自我同理心、促进治愈、停止因无法控制的事情责备和惩罚自己的另一种方式。这是我向我的病人推荐的一种方法。白天，不断重复这句话以减轻压力或只是让自己感觉良好。
我深呼吸。我的身体放松了。我正朝着健康和轻松的方向前进。
自我同理心意味着接受自己是人，可以学习和成长。当然，你会犯错或后悔。你可能会前进，后退，然后再次前进。你并不完美。我们都不是。谢天谢地。完美太无聊了！
我喜欢日本的侘寂理念，它认为不完美既美丽又有趣。我们每个人都是杂乱无章的，但同时又很特别。自我同理心始于愿意接受自己不太好的品质和出色的品质。
参考
Neff KD (2009)。自我同情在发展中的作用：一种更健康的方式来与自己相处。人类发展，52 (4)，211–214。https ://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
Bluth, K. 和 Blanton, PW (2015)。自我同情对青少年早期和晚期男性和女性情绪健康的影响。《积极心理学杂志》，10 (3)，219–230。https ://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2014.936967
8 Key Techniques to Empower Self-Empathy
Discover how to stop beating yourself up and care for yourself instead.
KEY POINTS
Self-empathy is crucial for improving people's health and well-being, but it may seem elusive.
People may be quicker to blame themselves and feel guilty than give themselves grace when things go wrong.
Accepting imperfections and practicing a simple affirmation can help with self-empathy.
How you treat yourself profoundly affects your health and well-being.
What is self-empathy? Why can it seem so elusive when it is so good for us? It often seems so much easier to have empathy for others than yourself.
Self-empathy is a commitment to being caring rather than shaming or punishing yourself, especially if you’ve made a mistake. Maybe your first impulse is to push too hard or get impatient with your progress. Or you might beat yourself up for falling short at work or when communicating with a loved one. Or you might be too quick to hate or blame yourself. Without self-empathy, these are no-win situations. That’s why self-empathy is so vital to becoming a healthy, empowered, empathic person.
Because of the absolute importance of this subject, I’ve devoted a complete chapter to it in my book The Genius of Empathy. Please review this information in the chapter to get a sense of why I’m framing self-empathy as a healing force in your life. Here are eight tips to begin practicing self-empathy.
8 Tips to Build Self-Empathy
Treat yourself with as much kindness as you treat others.
Honor your own needs rather than always putting everyone else first.
Have self-compassion for yourself during hard times rather than blaming and shaming.
Set respectful boundaries with unhealthy behavior.
Give yourself permission to be around supportive, positive people.
Forgive yourself when you make a mistake.
Allow yourself to receive other people’s caring, help, and love.
Be happy with yourself when you do things well.
Healing affirmations are another way to access self-empathy, promote healing, and stop blaming and punishing yourself for what is outside your control. Here is one that I recommend to my patients. During the day, keep repeating it to lessen stress or simply to feel good.
I breathe deeply. My body is relaxed. I am moving forward toward wellness and ease.
Self-empathy means accepting that you are human and can learn and grow. Of course, you will make mistakes or have regrets. You may move forward, slip backward, then move ahead again. You are not perfect. None of us are. Thank goodness. Perfection is so boring!
I love the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi, which sees imperfections as beautiful and interesting. We are all messy and extraordinary at the same time. Self-empathy starts with being willing to accept your less-than-best qualities as well as your stellar ones.
References
Neff K. D. (2009). The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself. Human development, 52(4), 211–214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
Bluth, K., & Blanton, P. W. (2015). The influence of self-compassion on emotional well-being among early and older adolescent males and females. The journal of positive psychology, 10(3), 219–230. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2014.936967
