这位提问者想知道：如果他清楚自己的行为必然伤害他爱的人，那么他怎样才能自由自在地行事，而无需自我克制？

你知道，爱即自由——双方都自由自在。一旦可能引发痛苦，可能因爱而受伤，那就不是真爱，只是一种微妙的支配欲、占有欲。如果你有爱心，真正爱某人，那么做你认为该做的事，根本不会为他带来痛苦。只有你期待他按你的渴望行事，或者他期待你按他的渴望行事时，才会产生痛苦。也就是说，你喜欢被支配，感觉那样才安全、舒适。虽然你知道，舒适感转瞬即逝，但你宁愿躲进那短暂的慰藉中。

所以，每每你奋力追逐慰藉、博取激励，实际上只是暴露了内心的匮乏。所以，任何与他人分裂的行为，必然滋生烦恼与痛苦，你不得不压抑自己的真实感受，调整自己，迎合他人。换言之，以所谓爱的名义而不懈地压抑自己，会对双方造成伤害，这样的爱没有自由，只是一副狡黠的枷锁而已。

——克里希那穆提《生命书：365观心日课》（The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti）

Where There Is the Possibility of Pain There Is No Love

The questioner wants to know how he can act freely and without self-repression when he knows his action must hurt those he loves.

You know, to love is to be free—both parties are free. Where there is the possibility of pain, where there is the possibility of suffering in love, it is not love, it is merely a subtle form of possession, of acquisitiveness. If you love, really love someone, there is no possibility of giving him pain when you do something that you think is right. It is only when you want that person to do what you desire or he wants you to do what he desires, that there is pain. That is, you like to be possessed; you feel safe, secure, comfortable; though you know that comfort is but transient, you take shelter in that comfort, in that transience.

So each struggle for comfort, for encouragement, really but betrays the lack of inward richness; and therefore an action separate, apart from the other individual naturally creates disturbance, pain and suffering; and one individual has to suppress what he really feels in order to adjust himself to the other. In other words, this constant repression, brought about by so-called love, destroys the two individuals. In that love there is no freedom; it is merely a subtle bondage.

JULY 21