如果关系建立在相互需要之上，就只能孳生冲突。我们彼此间无论多么相互依赖，究其实是为了某种意图、某个目的而相互利用。如果关系中带有某种目的，则真实的关系就不复存在，只是你利用我，我利用你而已。在这种相互利用中，我们失去了心灵的触碰。一个建立在相互利用之上的社会，必成为暴力之渊薮。当我们利用别人时，心里只有一个画面——达成目的，而目的与利益会阻碍真实的关系与心灵的交融。在利用他人的过程中，不论气氛如何惬意愉快，心底总有恐惧；为了逃避恐惧，我们必然支配他人，而支配必生嫉妒、猜疑，进而产生无尽的冲突。这样的关系绝不会带来幸福。

如果社会结构仅以生理或心理的相互需求为基础，则必然滋生冲突、混乱与苦难。当需求与利用构成了你人际关系的主旋律，你把内心投射于外，就构成了社会。当你利用他人来满足自己生理或心理的需求，彼此就不再有真实的关系，不再有心灵触碰，不再有心心交融。如果他人只是被你用作工具，图谋一己的便利与安逸，那么你与他之间怎么可能有心心交融呢？所以，在日常生活中理解关系的意义，这是至关重要的。

——克里希那穆提《生命书：365观心日课》（The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti）

Relationship

Relationship based on mutual need brings only conflict. However interdependent we are on each other, we are using each other for a purpose, for an end. With an end in view, relationship is not. You may use me and I may use you. In this usage, we lose contact. A society based on mutual usage is the foundation of violence. When we use another, we have only the picture of the end to be gained. The end, the gain, prevents relationship, communion. In the usage of another, however gratifying and comforting it may be, there is always fear. To avoid this fear, we must possess. From this possession there arises envy, suspicion, and constant conflict. Such a relationship can never bring about happiness.

A society whose structure is based on mere need, whether physiological or psychological, must breed conflict, confusion, and misery. Society is the projection of yourself in relation with another, in which the need and the use are predominant. When you use another for your need, physically or psychologically, in actuality there is no relationship at all; you really have no contact with the other, no communion with the other. How can you have communion with the other when the other is used as a piece of furniture, for your convenience and comfort? So, it is essential to understand the significance of relationship in daily life.

MARCH 5