What? |
怎么了 |
You come here every day? |
你每天都来这吗 |
Don't do a jumpy-outy surprise thing, |
别妄想在我的生日派对上做什么惊喜的事 |
and don't sing Happy Birthday, I couldn't bear it. |
更不要给我唱什么生日快乐歌 我最受不了这个了 |
I'm, erm... |
我 呃 |
I'm actually looking forward to it. |
其实我还挺期待你唱给我听的 |
Hi, Harry, it's me. |
嗨 哈里 是我 |
Listen, I know we're broken up, |
我知道我们已经分手了 |
but it's Claire's birthday tonight |
但是今晚是克莱尔的生日派对 |
and I thought that... |
所以我想 |
I thought that maybe |
我想也许 |
you'd like to come to her... |
你可以和我一起去 |
...birthday party. |
她的生日派对 |
Anyway, give me a call, and I hope you're OK. Bye. |
总之 听到后给我回个电话吧 祝一切安好 再见 |
I can't go out with a dog. |
我怕狗 |
My boyfriend before Harry used to make me send him pictures of |
我的前前男友以前老喜欢叫我 |
my vagina wherever I was, |
拍私照给他 不管我在哪 |
ten or 11 times a day. |
一天大概要发个十几张吧 |
One day when I was temping he asked me to... |
有天我正在做兼职呢 他发短信给我说 |
Time to throw the net out. |
是时候撒网了 |
I am in so much trouble. |
我有大麻烦了 |
Jesus Christ. |
我的天哪 |
What am I going to get Claire? |
我该给克莱尔送什么好呢 |
I am meant to get her the perfect present. |
我必须得给她送个完美的礼物才行啊 |
- I am not drunk. - Always drunk. |
-还有我没有喝多哦 -然而并不是 |
I am not drunk! |
都说了 我没有喝多 |
Which is odd, cos Claire's so straight. |
奇怪 因为克莱尔总是很直接 |
Smack me in the face. |
快扇我巴掌 |
- Really hard. - Really? |
-用力点 -你确定 |
Yeah. |
是的 |
Oh, good. |
噢 很好 |
Fuck. |
棒 |
I think you gave me a semi. |
我觉得我快硬了 |
Can I eat a water or a sandwich, or something? |
我能喝点水 吃点三明治什么的吗 |
I mean, the man's got a problem. |
我想说 这男人绝对有毛病 |
Speak to me. Speak to me. |
跟我说呀 跟我说话呀 |
But no-one wants to admit |
但没人会愿意承认这点的 |
there's a problem because then they don't get |
因为这样他们就不用 |
to have crazy nights out with Fun Drunk Martin. |
和滑稽的醉汉马丁一起共度狂欢夜了 |
Chicken, are you chicken? No. |
鸡肉 你是鸡肉吗 不 |
He's one of those men who is explosively sexually inappropriate |
他就是那种轻浮不检点 喜欢和所有人乱开玩笑的人 |
with everyone, but makes you feel bad if you take offence |
如果你往心里去了 难过的只有你自己 |
because he was "Just being fun". |
因为他只是在“开玩笑”而已 |
Honestly, you could tell him you're going to pop to the loo |
说真的 如果你和他说 你要去厕所 |
and he'll say... |
他就会说 |
完整版请点击 |
|
Yes, you pop to the loo, pull down your knickers, |
好的 你先去厕所 脱好内裤 |
and then I will come in |
我随后就“进来” |
and fuck you. |
好好疼爱你一番 |
I mean, this place is ridiculous. |
我想说 这地方简直难以置信 |
Does anyone ever come here? |
有人光顾过这吗 |
I mean, it is creepy as fuck. |
我是说 这地方也太令人毛骨悚然了吧 |
Why don't you get her a guinea pig? |
你为什么不送她只豚鼠呢 |
It was a surprise hit here. |
这礼物在我们这还挺流行的 |
What, you think she'd like a pig? Can I take this one? |
什么 你觉得她会喜欢一头猪吗 那我能带走这个吗 |
No, not that one. |
不 不要选这只 |
Christ, woman, there's something wrong with that one, |
我的天 妹子 快看 那只好像生病了 |
it's got death in its eyes. |
没看见它眼里闪烁着死亡的光芒吗 |
Yeah, the vet says she's depressed. |
嗯 他们说她得抑郁症了 |
Aren't we all, girl? |
我们不也是吗 妹子 |
You know, guinea pigs can die of loneliness. |
你知道吗 豚鼠会因为孤独而死 |
Can they? |
真的吗 |
- Hold her. - No. |
-来 抱抱她 -不 |
- She needs it. - No. |
-她需要爱的抱抱 -不 |
Shh! |
嘘 |
I have an idea. |
我有个主意 |
He's sexually inappropriate and he eats raw sausages but no-one's |
他不仅不太检点 还吃生香肠 |
made her laugh like he does, so I guess I have to give him that. |
但也只有他可以这样逗乐克莱尔 这点我不得不承认 |
Right, just put your... What are you doing? What are you doing? |
好了 来穿上 你干嘛 干嘛呢这是 |
No. Stop it. |
不 别这样 |
No, no, no, there. |
不 不 不 这儿呢 |
There we go. |
这就对了 |
I'm an innocent man. |
我是个天真的人 |
I bought her a necklace with her name on it, |
我给她买了条刻着她名字的项链 |
that she found and told me not to buy |
但是她发现后叫我不要买 |
- OK. - I bought her a book |
-好吧 -我给她买了一本 |
- that she already has. - Mmmh. |
-她看过的书 -呃 |
And, she says not to buy her any clothes |
她还说不要给她买任何衣服 |
because she probably won't wear them. |
因为她基本是不会穿的 |
She scares me! |
她吓到我了 |
This sandwich is so good. |
这个三明治真不错 |
Look, this is London. |
听着 这里可是伦敦啊 |
Just fuck off and buy something weird and expensive. |
赶紧给我滚去买点又奇怪又昂贵的东西就是了 |
No, no, it's got to be good, all right. Help me! |
不 不 我必须得给她最完美的礼物 帮帮我吧 |
Pay me and I'll help you. |
给我钱啊 给我就帮你 |
Fuck off. |
去你的 |
How much? |
你要多少钱 |
60 pounds. |
六十英镑 |
- 70. - Done. |
-七十 -成交 |
Yeah! |
耶 |
I don't know who she is. |
我不知道她喜欢什么样的 |
Is she...? |
这个吗 |
No. |
不 |
What about...? |
那这个呢 |
No! |
不 |
Just... get whoever you are. |
那如果是你的话 |
Who are you? |
你想挑哪个 |
I don't know. |
我不知道 |
I want to be that person. |
我应该会选这双吧 |
I have been that person. |
我以前就是穿这种鞋的人 |
Ha. |
哈 |
But most of the time I'm that person, like everyone else. |
但大部分时间我都是穿这种鞋的人 就跟大家一样 |
They're good, right? Chic. |
这双挺不错的 对吧 也挺时髦的 |
Chic means boring - don't tell the French. |
时髦的潜台词就是无聊 别告诉那些法国人 |
What about these? |
那这双呢 |
No. God. |
不 我的天 |
Stop checking, all right, nobody loves you. Help me here. |
别看手机了 好吗 谁会找你啊 先帮我挑礼物 |
Who is this person? |
那这双怎么样 |
Fuck, no. |
当然不行 |
This is perfect. |
这双绝对合适 |
Get her something she'd never get herself. |
给她买她自己平时不会买的东西 |
Surprise her. |
这才叫惊喜 |
She'll think I've gone nuts. |
她一定会觉得我疯了 |
No, she'll think you see her as this person, |
不 她会觉得你一直把她当做时尚狂野的人 |
and everyone wants to be this person. |
每个人都希望别人这么看自己 |
I don't know, I... |
我不知道 我 |
Aren't these for children? |
这些难道不是给孩子们的吗 |
No. |
不是吧 |
Let's keep going. I saw some more stuff she'll hate over there. |
咱们走吧 我在这看到好几件她讨厌的东西 |
My neighbour |
我的邻居 |
is really fit. |
身材真的好棒啊 |
Which one? |
哪个 |