老爸老妈浪漫史How I Met Your Mother第1季第4集台词

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Kids when you are single,all you're looking for is happily all after. 孩子们当你们单身时 致力于寻找终身幸福
But only one of your stories can end that way, 但是在你经历的所有爱情故事里 只有一次能圆满结局
the rest ended with somebody get hurt. 其它的则最终以一方受伤结束
This is one of those stories, 我将讲述的就是一个这样结束的故事
that starts with a shirt. 它因为一件衬衫而开始
- A shirt? - just listen, - 衬衫? - 听我说
because none of that would have happened if it hadn't been for that shirt. 要不是那件衬衫 这件事情是不可能发生的
- nice shirt - Right? Right? - 不错的衬衫 - 是不? 是不?
look at those colors, green and brown together at last. 看看这颜色 绿色和棕色混杂在一起
hot top,bro? is it new. 新款吗,兄弟?新买的?
that's the crazy part. 最让人疯狂的是
I've had this shirt for 6 years 这件衬衫我已经买了6年了
until this morning, I was not into it at ll, 一直到今天早晨 我完全没有注意到它
but now, it's like my tastes changed. 但是现在 就象我的品味改变了
- Booger. - yes,hello,barney. - 鼻屎 - 呃,你好,Barney
barney has offered me 50 bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report. Barney给我50块钱 让我在直播报道里说些愚蠢的话
not some stupid word,booger. 不是什么蠢话,鼻屎
But I'm not doing it. I am aournalist. 我还是不会做这个 我是一个新闻记者
What?! Journalist?! 什么?!记者?!
You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news. 你只是在新闻的最后 做点边角料
Old people. Babies. Monkeys. 老人 小孩 猴子
That's not journalism. That's just... things in a diaper. 这不是新闻工作 只是... 婴儿做的幼稚事
For your information, my boss is about to bump me up to... 你可能还不知道 老板要我到...
- the city hall beat. - City hall? Miss thing. - 市政厅 - 市政厅?大人物
I'm not going to jeopardize my promotion by saying "booger" for 50 bucks. 我不会为了50块钱去说"鼻屎" 这会危及我的升迁
Of course not. 当然不
'Cause now you're saying "nipple," and it's a hundred. 这回你说"乳头"的话 我将给出100块钱
Step into my web. 进入我的圈套吧
Mmm. Whose bourbon is this? 呃 这是谁的波旁酒?
Ooh,I don't know. It was here when we sat down. 喔 我不知道 我们坐下的时候就在这了
Gahhh... the point is... 啊... 重点是...
I seem to like bourbon now. 我现在似乎开始喜欢波旁酒了
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I could've sworn I hated bourbon. 我以前发誓讨厌波旁酒
First the shirt,now bourbon. 首先是衬衫,现在又是波旁酒
I spent 27 years making up my mind about things,right? 我花了27年来形成对事物的喜恶,对吗?
The movie I saw once and hated; 看过一次就讨厌的电影
the city I'll never go back to 'cause it was raining the day I visited. 因为我去的时候在下雨而导致 再也不想去第二次的城市
Maybe it's time to start forming some second impressions. 可能是时候对事物有一个新的看法了
You're finally gonna watch goonies again? 你终于又看《七宝奇谋》了吗?
"Sloth love chunk. "Sloth love chunk.
Not goonies-- girls. 我不是说《七宝奇谋》 我指女生
What if there's someone from my past 如果以前有某个女生
who I thought was wrong for me at the time, 我那时候觉得不适合我
when in fact she,like this shirt, 但是其实她,就象这件衬衫
is actually a perfect fit? 事实上很适合我?
Hold up. 等等
There are only two reasons to ever date a girl you'velready dated: 只有两个原因 可以让你去约会以前已经交往过的女生
Breast... implants. 乳房... 移植
You know,this isn't a bad idea. 你知道,这注意不坏
Let's think... ted's greatest hits. 让我想想... Ted以前的女友精选辑
What about that girl steph? Steph怎么样?
Steph... Steph...
okay,this is difficult to say: 好吧,这有点难说出口
Back when I lived in L.A., I was pretty broke 回溯到我住在洛衫机时 我一文不名
so I spent a month making adult films. 因此我花了一个月拍成人电影
Wow. Okay... 哇 好吧...
h-how many did you make? 你拍了多少部?
Say what you will about the porn industry, they're hard workers. 要说对从事色情业的人的看法 他们辛苦工作
Jackie? What about that chick,um... jackie? 那个女的怎么样 呃...
...And my bathing suit had fallen completely off. ...我的浴袍完全滑下去了
I know the feeling. Once, 我了解你的感受 有一次
when I was 16,I was driving, 我16的时候,开着车
and I hit this hitchhiker. 撞上了一个想搭便车的家伙
Don't know what happened to him-- just kept driving. 我不知道他怎么样了-- 只是继续开我的车
uh... no. 呃... 不要
What about natalie? Natalie呢?
Natalie... Natalie...
who's natalie? 谁是Natalie?
Natalie Natalie.
I had so many fond memories of her: 我和她有很多美好的回忆
The tea candles on her dresser, 她茶几上的蜡烛
the sock monkey collection on her bed, 她床上收集的袜子猴
that one belle & sebastian song she always listened to, 她一直在听的格拉丝高的歌
her smile... 她的微笑...
man,I haven't seen her in, like,three years. 天那,我有大概3年没见过她了
Well,why'd you guys break up 嗯 你们为什么会分手
I just wasn't looking for a big commitment at the time. 那时候我并不想做出承诺
Of course, now a big commitment doesn't seem so bad. 当然 现在看来这样并不坏
Maybe I should call her. What do you guys think? 也许我应该找她 你们怎么想?
You dumped a porn star? 你甩了一个三级明星?
Friendship over. 我们的友谊完了
Friendship over! 我们的友谊完了!
come in! 进来!
All right,get back to me,then. 好吧,一会再找我
- You wanted to see me,mr. Adams. - Yes,I did. - 你想见我吗 Adam先生 - 是的
I need you to cover a story. 我需要你去报道一个故事
It's down at city hall. 就在市政厅那边
City hall? 市政厅?
Oh,my god. 噢 天那
so,next time you're passing city hall, 那么 下次当你经过市政厅时
make sure and stop by new york's oldest hot dog cart. 别忘了找到这个纽约 最古老的热狗贩卖车
Today,a delicious hot dog will cost you $2.50, 今时今日 一个美味的热狗将花去你2.50元
but back when the stand first opened,in 1955, 但是回溯到1955年
you could get one for only a nipple. 你可以仅用一个乳头买到一个热狗
Reporting live,robin trubotsky, metro news one. 现场直播 Robin Trubotsky 来自都市新闻一台
I said "nipple" on the news. 我在新闻上说了"乳头"
That was so unprofessional! I said "nipple" on the news! 这太不专业了! 我在新闻上说了"乳头"!
At least it's better than "booger." 至少比"鼻屎"好
booger. 鼻屎
there she is. 你在这呢
Hey,is it cold in here? 'Cause I can kinda see robin's nickels. 嘿,这里很冷吗? 我几乎可以见Robin的钱袋儿了
now,for your next challenge... 现在 为了你的下一次挑战...
there is not going to be another challenge. I don't care how much you offer me. 不会再有什么挑战了 我不在乎你给出多少钱
Oh,search your soul,robin. 噢 扪心自问Robin
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You and I both know this wasn't about the money. 我们都知道这跟钱没有关系
Sure,metro news one pays you jack, and,hey, 当然,都市新闻一台付你的薪水,Jack 但是……
a little green salad on the side is good for you,me,and mr. Mcgee. 多吃点蔬菜沙拉对 对你,我和Mcgee先生都有好处
Seriously,who talks like that? 说真的,谁这么说话?
What baby really likes 小宝贝真正得到的……
is the thrill of pulling one over on those bean-counters who underappreciate you, 给那些工于心计不赏识你 更不会提拔你的人……
and still haven't promoted you, 教训一下的刺激感
and so for two more hundie sticks, 那么为了另外两百大洋
baby's going to look in the camera and say this. 小宝贝会看这镜头说...
M just assuming. 我只是在设想
I gotta get back to work. 我得回去工作了
- See ya. - Bye. - 回头见 - 拜
Baby's gonna think about it. 小宝贝会去考虑下这个
found it! I found natalie's number. 找到啦! 我找到Natalie的电话了
Hey,ted! Nice shirt! Is it yesterday already? 嘿 Ted! 不错的衬衫! 又回到昨天了吗?
I am calling her. This is crazy. 我要给她打电话 这有点疯狂
I haven't talked to her in, like,three years. 我大概有3年没跟她讲过话了
Wonder if she even remembers me. 不知道她是不是还记得我
- Natalie - hello? - Natalie. - 你好?
- It's ted mosby. - 我是Ted Mosby
- Go to hell. - 去死吧
She remembers me. 她还记得我
why would natalie hang up on you? 为什么Natalie挂你电话?
I don't know. 我不知道
- Did you sleep with her sister? - No. - 你和她姐姐睡过了吗? - 没有
- Did you sleep with her mom? - No. - 那你和她妈妈睡过了? - 也没有
I'm losing interest in your story. 我正对你的故事失去兴趣
Well,you must have done something. 嗯 你一定做了什么事情她才会这样
Why did you guys break up? 你们为什么分手?
He wasn't ready for a commitment. 他还没为做出承诺准备好
And her birthday might've been coming up. 那时她的生日快到了
okay,so I didn't want to get a boyfriend-level gift 好吧 我不想给一个我即将提出分手的人
for a girl I was just about to break up with. 送一份男朋友级别的礼物
So you dumped her right before her birthday? 所以你在她生日前甩了她?
No,I didn't dump her right before her birthday. 不是 我没在生日前甩她
Natalie! Hey. Happy birthday. Natalie! 嘿 生日快乐
Listen... 听着...
- Never break up with a girl on her birthday! - Lily,please! The shirt! - 永远都不能在女生的生日那天提出分手! - Lily 别这样! 衬衫!
I know! It was a mistake! 我知道!我犯了个错误!
Well,did she cry her eyes out? 好吧 她把眼睛给哭肿了吗?
- I don't know. - How do you not...?! - 我不知道 - 你怎么会...?!
You didn'T. 不是吧你
Natalie! Hey,happy birthday. Natalie! 嘿 生日快乐
Listen... 听着...
you're awesome. 你很不错
You really are. 真的不错
Awesome. 很不错
I'm just like super-busy right now,so... 我现在很忙 所以...
maybe we should just... call it a day. 也许我们之间还是画上休止符吧
But you're awesome. 但是你很不错
On her answering machine!? 在电话答录机上!?
- Lily,come on. - And on her birthday?! - Lily 别这样 - 在她生日那天?!
Oh,who breaks up with somebody on their answering machine on her birthday?! 噢 谁会在对方生日那天而且是答录机上提出分手?!
Yeah,dude. E-mail. 是啊 兄弟 你该发E-mail说
Not exactly the point I was trying to make,marshall. 这不是我想表达的重点Marshall
That is a terrible way to break up with someone. 这样提出分手太可怕了
Okay,in my client's defense, 好吧 我为我的当事人辩护
is there an unterrible way to break up with somebody? No. 有什么方法与人分手是不可怕的吗? 没有
Personally,I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine... 就我个人而言 我宁愿从答录机上听到坏消息...
than face the humiliation in person. It's the least painful way you can do it. 比面对面觉得丢脸好 这是一种减轻对对方伤害的方法
- Who are you calling? - Hi,marshall,it's lily. - 你在给谁打电话? - 嗨 Marshall 我是Lily
We're not gonnhave sex for at least a month, 至少一个月内我们不会做爱
but you're awesome. Okay,bye-bye. 但是你很不错 好了 拜拜
No,that was a big mistake, ted. You should've done it in person. 不 这是一个很大的错误 Ted 你应该当面说分手
Thank you. 谢谢
Desperate, please-don't-leave-me sex is amazing. “疯狂绝望的别离开我”性爱 ……妙不可言
Okay, it was childish and stupid. I ju... 好吧 这很幼稚愚蠢 我只是...
I didn't want to see her cry. 我不想看见她哭
Well,guess what she cried. 嗯 猜猜怎么样 她还是哭了
You just didn't have the sack to face those tears. 你只是没种面对那些眼泪
That was me then,okay? 我以前就是那样 好不?
This is the new, old-shirt- wearing,sack-having ted. 现在是一个崭新的 穿着以前的衬衫的有种的Ted
I'm gonna make this right. 我要去把这事纠正过来
You know what else? "My younger sister... 你们知道吗? 我的妹妹...
...just got married and I'm about to turn 30" sex. ...“新婚而且快三十岁”性爱
Fantastic. 太棒了
An occasion that was supposed to be joyous, 本来应该值得高兴的事
suddenly turned tragic when ethel and sadie margolis, 变成了悲剧 因为Ethel和Sadie Margolis
new york's oldest twins, 纽约最老的一对双胞胎
suddenly passed away on this, 在他们的100岁生日那晚
the eve of their 100th birthday. 突然过世
I'm a dirty,dirty girl. 我是个下流,下流的女生
Reporting live,robin trubotsky, metro news one. 现场直播 Robin Trubotsky 来自metro news one
Clear. 清场
Joel adams wants to see you in his office. Joel Adams在办公室等你
Before you say anything, 在你说任何事之前
I just want to say I really like working here at metro news one. 我想说我真的很喜欢在这工作
That's great. So,my dog keeps going 这很好 那么 我的狗一直不停的...
- what'S...? - What? - 这怎么回事...? - 什么?
You have dogs,right? What do you think that means? 你也养狗 不是吗? 你觉得这是怎么回事?
Take him to the vet? 带他去看兽医?
genius. 天才
That's one I owe you. 我欠你个人情
- Was that all? - Yeah. - 这就是你想说的吗? - 对啊
- And nothing about the twins story? - Oh,yeah,great job on that one. - 没什么关于那个双胞胎的故事要说的吗? - 噢 对 你做的不错
New york loves you. You're a superstar. Bye-bye. 纽约爱你 你是个超级明星 拜拜
That's when robin realized that no one 那时候Robin明白了没人
not even her boss, watched metro news one. 甚至包括她的老板 也不看都市新闻一台
hi.
natalie! Come on! I just want to say I'm sorry. Natalie!别这样! 我只想说我很抱歉
I only came down here 'cause you woul't take my call. 我来这只是因为你不接我电话
Hey,here's an idea-- 嘿 我有个主意--
why don't you leave a message? 你怎么不用答录机?
good one. 很好笑
Okay,fine,I'm just going to leave this sock monkey here. 好 好吧 我把这个袜子猴留下就走
Good-bye. 再见
- Oh my god. - ok,ok! - 天那 - 没事 没事!
look,look,look. I know you're mad,but... 听着 听着 听着 我知道你很生气 但是...
happy birthday.Three years ago. 生日快乐 3年前的祝福
Oh,yeah? Up yours three years ago. 噢 是吗?随你便 3年前
Look,look, I was an idiot leaving that message. 听着听着 给你留那个言我真是个白痴
I realize how much that sucked. 我意识到那样有多另人讨厌
No,you don'T. 不 你没有
Maybe we should just call it a day. 也许我们之间还是画上休止符吧
But you're awesome. 但是你很不错
Okay,bye. 好吧 拜
Surprise. 惊喜吧
There was a surprise party that night? 那天晚上有一个惊喜派对吗?
How come nobody told me? 为什么没人告诉我?
People think I can't keep a secret, but I totally can. 人们认为我不能保守秘密 但是我完全可以
Sorry,not the issue. 抱歉 和这个没关系
Look,natalie, 听着Natalie
I was just a stupid kid back then, terrified of commitment. 我那时是一个愚蠢的小孩 害怕做出承诺
And I suppose you're suddenly ready to get married and settle down. 我猜你突然做好准备结婚然安定下来
Well,yeah,actually. 嗯 事实上是的
I'm a different guy now. 我现在完全不同了
Give me another chance, 再给我一次机会
You must think I have absolutely no self-respect. 你大概觉得我完全没有自尊吧
Come on,just a cup of coffee. 别这样 只是一起喝点咖啡
Please,natalie. Give the guy a chance. 请别这样 Natalie 给他个机会
Self-respect is overrated. 别太高傲了
Maybe it was the caffeine, 可能是咖啡因的作用
but you really brought your game up to a whole new level. 你的技巧完全提升了个等级
Thanks. 谢谢
I did just start subscribing to esquire. 我刚刚开始订阅《Esquire》 (时尚杂志)
They have some helpful columns. 里面有一些很有用的专栏
The following 接下来的
is from the october issue. 来自于十月刊
So natalie and i started dating again. 我和Natalie又开始约会了
And just like that,it all came back. 就那样 以前的那些又回来了
The tea candles... 蜡烛...
the sock monkeys... 袜子猴...
belle and sebastian,all of it. 格拉丝高 所有的这些
It seemed like happily ever after wasn't far off. 就象幸福离我不远了
Well,I better run. 嗯 我得走了
I have my krav maga class in half an hour. 半小时后我要去学Krav Maga

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