because he's too busy thinking about you. |
忙着在想你 |
Aww, I actually think it's romantic. |
啊 我觉得超级浪漫的 |
Girl, there ain't nothing romantic about a "U up?" Text. |
姑娘 "醒着吗"一点都不浪漫 |
Facts... A "U up?" Text might as well be a Chris Brown song. |
事实 一条"醒着吗"的短信也可能就是克里斯布朗的同名歌 |
It's his last-resort move. |
是他最后垂死的挣扎 |
And it's late, |
现在很晚了 |
and he's dropping as many lines in the water as possible. |
他在尽可能多地钓鱼 |
And if you respond to it, what does that say about you? |
如果你回复了 那说明什么 |
Says she's a sexually liberated woman |
说明她是一个性解放的女人 |
who doesn't care about labels. |
不在乎世俗标签 |
Look, you're in college now, okay? |
你现在都上大学了 |
You can vote, you can buy an AR-15. |
你可以选举 可以买AR-15的枪 |
A little "D" 's not going to kill you. |
一个小小的丁不会杀了你的 |
Or a big one. |
大的也不会 |
What? No, no. |
什么 不是 不是 |
We're just stirictly hooking up. |
我们就只是互相约了一下而已 |
Zoey, what does "Hooking up" Mean to you? |
Zoey 你觉得"约人"是指什么 |
Making out and stuff. |
亲热一下之类的 |
This girl's gone. |
这姑娘没救了 |
Zoey, hooking up is not "Making out and stuff", |
Zoey 约人不是"亲热一下之类的" |
unless the stuff is sex. |
除非之类的是指性爱 |
Uh, maybe for you. |
你可能这么理解 |
To me, "Hooking up" Can be just meeting up with someone. |
但我觉得"约人"也可以就只是约人见面 |
Like, I hooked up with my uncle last night. |
我昨晚和我叔叔约了 |
We didn't do anything sexual, |
我们没做任何性相关的事 |
we just had dinner in his hotel suite. |
我们只是在他酒店房间吃了个晚饭 |
Uh... |
呃 |
Uh, o-okay. |
呃 好吧 |
"Hooking up" Is always sexual. |
"约人"总是是和性有关 |
But it doesn't mean sex. |
但它不是性 |
Okay. |
好吧 |
My head is about to explode, |
我脑袋要爆炸了 |
and I'm pretty sure Ana's dating her uncle. |
我相当肯定Ana在和她叔叔约会 |
There's no way guys talk about this stuff, right? |
男孩子们是不会说这个的对吧 |
I mean, I doubt Aaron's somewhere stressing like I am. |
我真不觉得Aaron会像我现在这么焦虑 |
I'm totally stressing right now, man. |
我现在超紧张的 |
Why hasn't she texted me back? |
她怎么还没回我消息 |
Maybe she thought the sex was garbage. |
也许她觉得你们之前的性爱太垃圾了 |
No, we didn't smash. |
不 我们没滚床单 |
You said you "Hooked up". |
但你说你们"约了" |
No, I said we "Messed around". |
不 我说的是我们"玩了玩" |
Oh, so you got some top-shelf action. |
哦 所以你们进行了点上面的活动 |
No, if I had done that, |
没 如果有的话 |
I would have said, "We just kicked it". |
我就会说"我们上手了" |
You act like you've been here before, man, please. |
你看起来有经验 求你了 |
完整版请点击 |
|
This is why I don't mess with texting. |
所以我不瞎发短信 |
It leaves things too open for interpretation. |
需要揣摩的地方太多了 |
This is why I just fire off dong pics. |
所以我只发点屌图 |
Pics? W... |
图 什 |
How many pics do you have? |
你有多少照片啊 |
Well, depends. |
看情况 |
Are you talking, like, straight-on? |
你是说正面的呢 |
You know, from the side? |
还是侧面的呢 |
Dude, why? |
朋友 为什么 |
I just... I feel like there's nothing pretty about, |
我只是 只是觉得漂亮这个词和你的 |
you know, your appendage. |
你的配件没关系 |
Oh, I disagree. |
哦 不敢苟同 |
With strategic manscaping, solid lighting... |
好好修一下毛 打点光 |
your dick'll bring a woman to tears. |
你的下面会让女人们哭泣的 |
The good kind. |
喜极而泣 |
I'm, like, laying out the blueprint for how I've put together |
我这是在为构建一个蓝图 |
one of the best nudie banks in the game. |
打造有史以来最好的裸照库 |
Dude, what are you saying to me right now? |
朋友 你在跟我说些什么 |
A "Nudie bank" Is not a collection of nudes you send to chicks. |
"裸照库"可不是你给姑娘们发的照片 |
It's a collection of nudes that chicks send to you. |
而是姑娘们发给你的裸照 |
Okay. |
行吧 |
That's... |
那才 |
No, I'm... I'm serious, bro. That's what it is. |
不 不 我是认真的 真的是 |
You sound crazy right now. |
你听起来像个疯子 |
That's not what a nudie bank is. |
裸照库不是你说的那样 |
Okay. |
好吧 |
No, that's exactly what it is, my guy. |
不 他说的是真的 我的朋友 |
I hate him. Okay, I hate him, but he's right. |
我恨他 好吗 我真的恨他 但他是对的 |
Oh, my gosh! |
我的天啊 |
What are you saying right now?! |
你在说些什么 |
What I'm saying is that when it gets to that point, |
我是说如果到那一步了 |
anything goes. |
什么都可以 |
No! |
不是的 |
A third hookup means top stuff only... |
第三次约人只能进行到上面 |
shirt off, bra on. |
脱衣服 留胸罩 |
Maybe in fifth grade. |
五年级小学生才这样 |
Wait, fifth grade? |
什么 五年级 |
Yeah, remember little Rico? |
是 还记得小Rico吗 |
With baby teeth? |
还有乳牙的那个 |
Mm-hmm. |
嗯哼 |
Okay, I do not want to hear about little Rico. |
我不想知道小Rico的事情 |
And, guys, it has been an hour and a half |
而且 他是一个半小时之前 |
since he texted me... |
给我发的消息 |
Am. I. Up? |
我 醒 着 吗 |
Yes! |
醒着 |
No. |
没 |
If she responds now, she'll look like a ho. |
如果她现在回复的话 就会像个小婊子 |
- How? She really likes him. - I do. |
- 怎么会 她很喜欢他- 没错 |
It's 2:30 in the morning. |
现在是凌晨两点半 |
Yeah, ho time. She blew it. |
对啊 婊子时间 她搞砸了 |
The twins are right. I blew it. |
双胞胎说的对 我搞砸了 |
Maybe not. |
也许还没 |
The fact that you haven't responded yet |
你还没回复 |
is actually a good thing. |
其实是件好事 |
Go on. |
你继续 |
As women, we're always having to bend to the will of the man. |
作为女人 我们往往要迎合男性 |