2021-02-14 孟轲改过 第四部分
上节练习
孟母痛心地指着那一根根丝线, 语重心长地说:
"你看, 这绸子是一根根丝线用力气织起来的. 人的学问是一点一滴慢慢积累起来的. 你不读书, 荒废学业, 就如同我剪断了这没织成的一匹绸子一样, 是件废品. 你不读书, 怎么能长大成材呢!"
逐句对比
比较自己的翻译和庄绎传先生的, 学习差异所在.
-: 我的翻译
+: 庄先生的参考翻译
孟母痛心地指着那一根根丝线, 语重心长地说:
-: Pointing at the silk threads, his mother said with meaningful tone:
+: His mother pointed at the loose silk threads, and said with feeling:
庄先生用了并列句, 我用了分句, 感觉差不多吧.
那一根根丝线
这里庄先生用的很妙, 虽然中文没有描述丝线的状态, 但承接上文, 因为绸子已被剪断, 丝线已然凌乱, 所以庄先生加了个 loose 来形容.
"你看, 这绸子是一根根丝线用力气织起来的.
-: "As you see that the silk is weaved by pulling up all those threads with manual efforts,
+: "Look! With toil, silk is woven thread by thread,
你看,
我译的时候拽了一下, 不想直接用 Look 感觉太简单, 但其实结合上下文, Look 比 As you can see 语气上更贴近当时的场景.
用力气织起来
其实就是 hard work, 我译的时候却忘了这个简单的词. 庄先生用的是 toil, 更能突出孟母的艰辛. toil强调长时间的艰苦工作.
Toil emphasizes the difficulty of the work it pertains to, but it is less often used now except for a high-toned effect
人的学问是一点一滴慢慢积累起来的. 你不读书, 荒废学业, 就如同我剪断了这没织成的一匹绸子一样, 是件废品.
-: a person's knowledge is accumulated every little bit. You hate to study and abondon school work, this is like I cut off this silk on the loom which makes it a waste.
+: and knowledge is accumulated bit by bit. Your giving up school is just like my cutting this bolt of unfinished silk. Such silk is of no use.
一点一滴: bit by bit
你不读书, 怎么能长大成材呢!"
-: How could you grow up to be useful if you do not study!
+: And how can you be of use when you grow up if you stop studying?"
这里的时态我又用错了, 事情还未发生, 咋用过去式呢.
来练习一下吧
孟子悔过的第五部分
孟轲听了母亲的话, 看着那剪断了的丝绸和伤心的妈妈, 心里难过极了. 他觉得母亲的话说的有道理, 自己确实不对, 于是惭愧地说:
"请母亲原谅我. 我错了, 今后坚决改掉毛病, 努力读书学习!"
参考译文见下一篇翻译练习.
