关键点

情感疏离是指无法或不愿意在情感层面与他人建立联系。

情感疏离可能有不同的原因，例如过去的忽视或创伤，甚至药物。

当你开始意识到自己的情绪时，建立一个支持系统将会给你带来无价的帮助。

由 Zamfira Parincu 和 Tchiki Davis 共同撰写。

广义上讲，情感疏离是指无法或不愿意在情感层面与他人建立联系。情感疏离也可能意味着人们不愿意与自己的感受互动，这可能导致人们不断地与他人的感受脱节或脱离。

这就像在自己和外界之间筑起一道墙，不让任何人失望。情感疏离可能会干扰一个人的生活，影响社交、情感甚至工作领域。例如，一个人可能很难建立或维持个人关系，或者他们可能很难分享自己的感受或情绪。

情感疏离是一个复杂的问题。对于某些人来说，情感疏离是一种应对机制，即一种保护自己免受压力或伤害的策略。对于其他人来说，这可能是对创伤、虐待或未处理情绪的反应，这使得人们无法敞开心扉谈论他们的挣扎。

虽然情感疏离在某些情况下如果有明确目的使用会有所帮助（例如不在乎别人说你的闲话），但如果使用过多或无法控制，则会产生负面影响。例如，如果你无法与他人沟通或难以表达情绪，它可能会影响你的人际关系。然而，重要的是要记住，情感疏离并不是一个可以随意打开或关闭的“开关”。

情感疏离的原因

情感疏离可能有不同的原因，例如过去的忽视或创伤、心理健康状况，甚至药物。情感疏离的一些常见原因包括：

过去的经历：童年时期经历创伤事件和人际创伤与情感疏离有关，但成年期的心理创伤也与情感疏离有关（Dvir 等人，2014 年；Foa 和 Hearst-Ikeda，1996 年）。儿童也可能使用情感疏离作为应对创伤事件的一种方式。

其他精神健康问题：一些精神健康问题可能包括情感脱离，包括躁郁症、抑郁症、人格障碍和创伤后应激障碍（PTSD）。

药物：情感脱离也可能是某些药物的副作用，包括抗抑郁药，如选择性血清素再摄取抑制剂 (SSRI)，用于治疗重度抑郁症和其他精神疾病。

个人选择：有些人可能会选择以情感上的疏离来应对压力、焦虑或界限侵犯。

情感疏离的迹象

1.难以向他人表达同理心

2.难以分享情感或向他人敞开心扉

3.难以对一段关系或一个人做出承诺

4.感觉与他人疏远

5.与人失去联系或难以维持联系

6.感觉“麻木”

7.无法识别情绪

在恋爱关系中，一些情感疏离的迹象包括以下几点（Gunther，2020）：

无法联系：您的伴侣可能不会回应您的联系请求（例如请求某些东西或紧急情况下的帮助）。尽管有时伴侣会因为压力、工作或个人问题而无法联系，但持续的情感疏离或拒绝联系请求可能表明情感疏离。

沟通不畅：沟通是一项需要不断练习的重要技能，而且并非所有的沟通都是口头的。沟通不畅只是意味着一方没有以另一方清楚理解的方式进行沟通，或者通过肢体语言表达厌恶或拒绝。

感情淡漠：表达感情的方式有很多种。了解你和伴侣的爱情语言是建立牢固关系的重要一步。例如，感情疏远的伴侣可能很难表达感情或说“我爱你”，这会对你们的关系产生负面影响。

如何更加感情依恋

以下是一些如何摆脱情感疏离并与他人建立联系的例子：

1.建立支持系统。在理解情绪的道路上，重要的一步是与支持你的人建立联系。建立支持系统对身心健康有很多好处，当你开始意识到自己的情绪时，它可以提供无价的帮助。

2.练习正念和冥想。正念是一种古老的练习，可以帮助你专注于当下，包括你对某个事件的情绪反应或你通常对情绪的看法。学习如何练习正念和冥想可以帮助你建立自我意识和自我同情心。

3.练习在情感上表现出脆弱。脆弱是任何关系的重要组成部分，因为它可以帮助你建立真实的联系，建立更牢固的纽带，并打破情感壁垒。学习如何表现出脆弱需要你和你周围的人付出时间和耐心，所以在这条道路上有支持你的人很重要。

4.寻求专业帮助。寻求帮助并不意味着你很软弱。如果情感疏离影响了你的生活，请咨询治疗师。持证的心理健康专业人士可以通过科学的干预措施和技术帮助你克服困难的情绪，从而帮助你重新与自己的情绪建立联系。你可以选择多种类型的疗法和干预措施，所以花点时间找到一种适合你的。

参考

Dvir, Y., Ford, JD, Hill, M., & Frazier, JA (2014)。童年虐待、情绪失调和精神合并症。《哈佛精神病学评论》，22(3)，149。

Foa, EB 和 Hearst-Ikeda, D. (1996)。创伤后情绪分离。《分离手册》（第 207-224 页）。Springer，马萨诸塞州波士顿。

Gunther, R. (2020 年 12 月 31 日)。《情感疏离的危险》。《今日心理学》。

What It Means to Be Emotionally Detached

... and 4 ways to address it and find connection.

KEY POINTS

Emotional detachment is the inability or unwillingness to connect with others on an emotional level.

Emotional detachment can have different causes, such as past neglect or trauma or even medications.

Building a support system can be an invaluable help as you begin to gain awareness of your emotions.

Cowritten by Zamfira Parincu and Tchiki Davis.

Broadly speaking, emotional detachment is the inability or unwillingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings, which can translate into repeatedly being disconnected or disengaged from what other people are feeling.

It is similar to building a wall between yourself and the outside world and not letting it down for anyone. Emotional detachment may interfere with the person’s life, impacting social, emotional, and even work areas. For example, a person might have a hard time creating or keeping a personal relationship, or it might be challenging for them to share their feelings or emotions.

Emotional detachment is a complex issue. For some people, being emotionally detached is a coping mechanism—a strategy that is used to protect them from stress or getting hurt. For others, it can be a reaction to trauma, abuse, or unprocessed emotions, which makes the person unable to open up about their struggles.

Although emotional detachment can be helpful in some situations if used with a clear purpose—such as not caring if people gossip about you—it can have a negative effect if it’s used too much or if you can’t control it. For instance, if you are unable to connect with other people or have a hard time expressing emotions, it might impact your personal relationships. However, it’s important to keep in mind that emotional detachment is not simply a "switch" that can be turned on and off at will.

Causes of Emotional Detachment

Emotional detachment can have different causes, such as past neglect or trauma, mental health conditions, or even medications. Some common causes of emotional detachment include the following:

Past experiences: Exposure to traumatic events and interpersonal trauma in childhood is associated with emotional detachment, but so is psychological trauma in adulthood (Dvir et al., 2014; Foa & Hearst-Ikeda, 1996). Children may also use emotional detachment as a way to cope with a traumatic event.

Other mental health conditions: Some mental health conditions may include emotional detachment, including bipolar disorder, depression, personality disorders, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Medications: Emotional detachment might also be a side effect of some medications, including antidepressants such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which are used to treat major depressive disorders and other psychiatric disorders.

Personal choice: Some people might choose to detach emotionally as a way to cope with stress, anxiety, or boundary violations.

Signs of Emotional Detachment

Difficulty showing empathy to others

Difficulty sharing emotions or opening up to others

Difficulty committing to a relationship or person

Feeling disconnected from others

Losing touch with people or problems maintaining connections

Feeling “numb”

Inability to identify emotions

In a romantic relationship, some of the emotional detachment signs include the following (Gunther, 2020):

Not being available: Your partner might not answer the bids for connection (like requests for something or help needed in an emergency). Even though there will be moments when any partner is less available because of stress, work, or personal issues, being constantly emotionally unavailable or rejecting bids for connection can indicate emotional detachment.

Poor communication: Communication is an important skill that needs constant practice, and not all communication is verbal. Poor communication simply means that a partner is not communicating in a way that is clearly understood by the other partner or is expressing disgust or rejection through body language.

Reduced affection: There are many ways to show affection. Learning your and your partner's love languages can be an important step toward building a strong relationship. For example, emotionally detached partners might have a hard time expressing affection or saying “I love you,” which can negatively impact the relationship.

How to Be More Emotionally Attached

Here are some examples of how to let go of emotional detachment and build connections with others:

Build a support system. On your path to understanding your emotions, an important step is to connect with people who support you. Building a support system has many mental and physical health benefits and can be an invaluable help as you begin to gain awareness of your emotions.

Practice mindfulness and meditation. Mindfulness is an ancient practice that can help you focus on the present moment, which can include your emotional response to an event or how you typically think about emotions in general. Learning how to practice mindfulness and meditation can help you build self-awareness and self-compassion.

Practice being emotionally vulnerable. Being vulnerable is an important part of any relationship, as it helps you build an authentic connection, creates a stronger bond, and breaks down emotional walls. Learning how to be vulnerable takes time and patience from you and those around you, so it’s important to have people who support you on this path.

Seek professional help. Asking for help does not mean you are weak. If emotional detachment is affecting your life, talk to a therapist. A licensed mental health professional can help you work through difficult emotions with science-based interventions and techniques, which can help you reconnect with your emotions. There are numerous types of therapies and interventions that you can choose from, so take the time to find one that works for you.

A version of this post also appears on The Berkeley Well-Being Institute.

References

Dvir, Y., Ford, J. D., Hill, M., & Frazier, J. A. (2014). Childhood maltreatment, emotional dysregulation, and psychiatric comorbidities. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 22(3), 149.

Foa, E. B., & Hearst-Ikeda, D. (1996). Emotional dissociation in response to trauma. In Handbook of Dissociation (pp. 207–224). Springer, Boston, MA.

Gunther, R. (2020, December 31). The Danger of Emotional Detachment. Psychology Today.