a night to try to remember? |
「想要记住却想不起来的一夜」 |
Let's play a game. |
我们来玩个小游戏吧 |
Raise your hand if you've got a boyfriend. |
有男朋友的请举手 |
Cupcakes are up. |
纸杯蛋糕好了 |
Actually, they're Ohio cakes. |
其实这是俄州蛋糕 |
See, 'cause they're round on the ends and high in the middle. |
因为它们是圆形的而且中间凸起 |
Get it? O-hi-o. |
听出笑点了吗圆高圆 |
|
俄亥俄州的发音变形为O-High-O 即圆-高-圆 |
Are you sure you're not high in the middle? |
我看你才是喝高了吧 |
I just want to make a good impression. |
我只是想给邻居留个好印象 |
Look, I got great Lake Latkes. |
我准备了大湖薯饼 |
|
音近朱迪·凯瑞克利夫兰人 喜剧演员 主持人 |
And I have drew curry |
另外还有咖喱味小吃 |
with Lebron rice. |
以及勒布朗米饼 |
And to wash it all down, |
搭配这些下肚的 |
some cold, delicious Cuyahoga River punch. |
是又冰又好喝的凯霍加潘趣酒 |
You know, that River was so polluted, it actually caught fire once. |
凯霍加河以前被污染得好严重有一次真的起火了 |
But they cleaned it all up. |
不过已经治理好了 |
Well, some of us happen to like a little pollution. |
我们当中有人就喜欢被污染一下 |
Look. |
快看 |
My agent just sent a box |
我经纪人刚寄来的 |
of Ozawa industrial brothers mrs. Ladypant beneficial dryness force. |
小泽兄弟实业的"淑女裤"有效干爽新势力 |
Mrs. Ladypants. I'm thinking it's not an antiperspirant. |
淑女裤我觉得这不是止汗剂 |
"Say greeting to Mrs. Ladypant. |
淑女裤常伴左右 |
For best good times, be on dry." |
干爽生活新享受 |
That's weird. |
好奇怪 |
There's, like, something in there. |
里面好像有东西 |
Like a pad or... |
好像是垫子或者是... |
A diaper. |
尿布 |
What are you talking about? They're pants. |
说什么呢只是裤子而已 |
With an attractive inner padding. |
加了层迷人的内衬 |
On their butt. |
恰好在屁股部位 |
Oh, give it up, darling. |
别死撑了亲爱的 |
- It's a diaper. - It's not a diaper! It's pants. |
-这就是尿布-不是尿布是裤子 |
And they're comfortable |
非常舒适 |
and perfectly stylish, and I love them. |
非常时髦我好喜欢 |
And they are paying me a ton of money to... |
而且他们出大价钱让我享受... |
"Preserve... freshness of crotch." |
裆部永久的清爽 |
As pants do. |
这正是裤子的功能 |
So just lay off. |
不准再废话 |
Isn't this great? |
很不错吧 |
Look how happy and relaxed everyone is. |
大家都这么开心这么放松 |
I know. |
我知道 |
In L.A., by now, I'd have had at least one conversation |
在洛杉矶恐怕这时候我正与某人搭讪 |
where someone's looking past me to find someone more important. |
而对方却无视我左顾右盼地寻找更大牌的人 |
完整版请点击 |
|
Yeah, I hate that. |
是啊最讨厌这个 |
And don't you just love |
你们也一定好喜欢这点 |
how everyone seems to have worn whatever? |
这里的人根本不在乎自己的外表 |
I mean, look at those women. Their hair is still wet. |
看那边的女人她们的头发都还是湿的 |
It took me an hour and a half to blow this dry. |
我可是花了一个半小时才吹出这发型 |
Maybe we should take a lesson from them. |
也许我们应该向她们学习 |
Or maybe they could take a blow dryer from us. |
也许她们应该向我们借吹风机 |
- Hello, ladies. - Hello. |
-女士们你们好-你好 |
I'm Rick from across the street. |
我是住在对面的瑞克 |
And, yes, I do smell of fish. |
没错我身上一股子鱼腥味 |
We weren't gonna say anything. |
我们没打算说什么 |
I just had a glorious morning fishing on Lake Erie. |
我刚从伊利湖钓鱼回来度过了一个美妙的早晨 |
Maybe I could bring you some muskie some time. |
改天我可以给你们送些鱼过来 |
Oh, what a lovely offer. |
您太客气了 |
Ah, there's that fish smell. |
果然是一股鱼腥味 |
So are you a fisherman? |
你是渔民吗 |
No, no, no, I work for the Plain Dealer. |
不不我为《老实人报》工作 |
I write a column on Cleveland, |
我有一个关于克利夫兰的专栏 |
what I like, what I don't like. |
写我喜欢的不喜欢的 |
What I would like is to interview you, Melanie. |
能令我满心欢喜的是采访你的机会梅兰妮 |
It's quite a thing for this neighborhood to get a best-selling author. |
畅销书作家的迁入真是让这小地方蓬荜生辉 |
And a famous actress. Crazy, huh? |
大牌女明星也入住了难以置信吧 |
I'm not really an author. |
我算不上什么作家 |
One book, you know. |
我就写了一本 |
Jotted down 200 things I wanted to do one day. |
随手写了我梦想做的两百件事 |
But it did sell like crazy. |
不过的确大卖 |
Although it wasn't on television for 27 years. |
毕竟没有在电视上辉煌27年啊 |
Let her have her moment, or I'll tell him about your diapers. |
让她专宠下否则我就告诉他你尿布的事 |
- Pants. - Diapers. |
-是裤子-尿布 |
So was moving to Cleveland one of your list things? |
搬来克利夫兰也是你要做的两百件事之一吗 |
Oh, god, no. No, before I came here, |
老天当然不是啦我来这里之前 |
I thought, you know, |
一直觉得 |
Cleveland was one of those places people came from |
克利夫兰是离乡背井的那个穷苦老家 |
but they never went to. |
绝不是人往高处走的地方 |
Oh. So what made you choose Cleveland over L.A.? |
那你为什么离开洛杉矶选择了这里 |
Oh, gosh, where do I start? |
老天这从何说起呢 |
You know, in L.A., everyone is so thin and perfect. |
在洛杉矶人人都苗条兼无可挑剔 |
It really starts to mess with your self-esteem. |
我的自尊自信被打击到不行 |
But here, I feel great. |
但在这里我感觉好极了 |
- I see. - No. No, wait. |
-明白了-不等等 |
I think I'm not communicating very well. |
我觉得我有些词不达意 |
You know, Rick, Melanie isn't as accustomed |
瑞克梅兰妮可不像我那样 |
to being interviewed as I am. |
习惯接受采访 |
So maybe you could just let her have a few moments |
或许你应该给她一点时间 |
to gather her thoughts |
让她整理下思绪 |
and go grab something to eat? |
你过去找点东西吃吧 |
Right, why don't I just go feed my fat, ugly face. |
好啊我何不去找点东西喂我这个丑胖子 |
You forgot smelly. |
你还是个臭胖子呢 |
What is wrong with me? How did that happen? |
我这是怎么了怎么会这样的 |
I meant to say that people in L.A. are vain and superficial. |
我本来想说在洛杉矶大家是金玉其外败絮其中 |
- I got to fix this. - Just let it go. |
-我得想办法挽救-别执着了 |
No, you try to fix that, you will only make it worse. |
如果你想办法挽救只会越救越糟 |
But he's our neighbor. |
可他是我们的邻居 |
And a columnist. I don't want him not to like me. |
还是个专栏作家我不希望他讨厌我 |
I like being likeable. |
我喜欢大家都喜欢我 |
Not to brag, but it's kind of my thing. |
不是吹牛我可擅长这个了 |
You should be able to tolerate someone not liking you. |
你应该接受某些人就是不喜欢你 |
You're right. |
你说得对 |
I mean, a ton of people don't like you, and you're fine with it. |
大把人不喜欢你你不也挺好的 |
I'm gonna staple my mouth shut. |
我看我还是闭嘴好了 |
As soon as I fix this. |
等我搞定这个就闭嘴 |
Rick, hi. |
瑞克你好 |
I'm just--I'm sorry. |
我想说很抱歉 |
I'd like to explain. |
我想解释下 |
When I said that people in L.A. are perfect and thin, |
我刚才说在洛杉矶人人都苗条兼无可挑剔 |
I did not mean to imply that everyone here is fat and ugly. |
我并不是说这里的人都是又肥又丑 |
No. |
不是的 |
I just mean, people in L.A., they're abnormally thin, right? |
我的意思是在洛杉矶大家都是不正常的瘦 |
Everyone here is normal. |
这里人人都很正常 |
They're healthy. |
很健康 |
Well, I don't know if I would use healthy. |
不知道说"健康"是否合适 |
'Cause, you know, there have been studies, and it's ver--oh. |
因为据研究表明肥胖... |
What I mean to say is that, |
我想说的是 |
here, you can relax, you know, |
在这里大家可以放松 |
- and let yourself go. - Okay. Okay. |
-放任自流-好的好的 |
You see it happening, but there's nothing you can do about it. |
悲剧就在眼前我们却无能为力 |